Confronting Your Partner: Sudden Changes Should Not Be Ignored

Is your partner acting strange? Do you feel like something is off with him or her? Do think that he or she is hiding something from you? And, if you do, should you ask him or her about it?

An increasing number of men and women have engaged in an extramarital affair at some point in their marriages, and chances are, someone close to you is a part of that number since there are quite a few affairs that never even get discovered.

Although it is a vital part of any relationship to trust your partner, you should always remember that you have to trust in your own instincts as well. There are some telltale signs that will give away your partner if ever he or she is indeed having an affair, and you shouldn’t ignore them once you see them.

A few of them are pretty basic, such as a sudden change in his or her daily routine and behavioral patterns. Others take a while to get noticed, like a lack of focus in work or any activity he or she is doing, a detachment or disinterest in things related to your relationship, or a change in habits.

Signs like these should not be ignored, and should be confronted right away, especially if for some reason you find it very out of character and uncomfortable. The way the confrontation will go will, of course, will depend on the status of your relationship. Make sure that you do in a way that will bring reconciliation and understanding to the relationship, and not cause conflict or fights. Confronting your partner with your suspicions is very different from attacking him or her with them, so be careful with the way that you do it. Remember that knowing the truth of what is going on in his or her life is better than being filled with questions that don’t get answered.

Emotional Affairs: A Harmless Type of Affair?

What would you rather your partner’s affair would be? Would you rather that it was only about the sex? Or would you prefer that your partner had feelings for the other person?

“Are you in love with him or her?” That is usually the first question you ask your partner when you discover that he or she had an affair. Most people would dismiss sexless or emotional affairs like they’re nothing compared to physical affairs, but what would you rather hear your partner say – that it was only about sex or that he or she has developed feelings for another person?

When there’s no sex or physical intimacy involved in affairs, it’s somehow looked at as an unimportant and harmless event or mistake.

Sharing secrets, goals, problems, thoughts and feelings with someone who is not your spouse can only lead to trouble, and will most often lead to deeper feelings for the other person and probably even lead to physical intimacy eventually. You may not even notice that your friendship with this other person is getting deeper and deeper, and then all of a sudden you become attached to him or  her and forget all about your partner.

Most clients who have suffered going through emotional affairs are those who had the hardest time dealing with their partners’ betrayal. So, if you see yourself going through something like this or if you find that you are hiding a particular relationship with a person or anything else that you wouldn’t want your husband or wife to know about, it’s time for you to stop. Make an effort to stay away from this person, at least until you are certain that there is nothing going on other than friendship. Save your marriage.

Infidelity in Marriages: Getting Out of Being Stuck in the Middle

The 7th type of affair from the e-book Break Free from the Affair focuses a lot on the confusion that your partner brings into the situation.

“I want to be close to Someone (which means I can’t stand intimacy)” usually is marked by the confusion that results from your partner’s lack of certainty about what he wants to do, or which relationship he wants to pursue. This usually leaves both you and the other person stuck until your partner makes a decision, which is probably not going to happen any time soon, if it ever happens at all.

Your partner is confused because he doesn’t want to have the stability and comfort he gets from your marriage, but on the other hand, he wants to explore the other relationship as well because it gives him a kind of freedom that he doesn’t get from you. or maybe he doesn’t want to let go of the marriage because he sees it as a real and significant part of his life, but sees the other relationship to have the potential to be that as well.

Just like you and other person, your partner is stuck and doesn’t know which direction to take, so he ends up not moving at all. So rather than make an effort to think of He chooses to not choose between you and the other person because it is easier for him to do so.

It is important that you avoid getting stuck with your partner, or in case you already are, to get out of being stuck. The best way to do this is by identifying the things you want for you, apart from your partner and what he wants, and try to pick it apart and be specific about why you want these things. By doing so, you will learn a lot more about yourself and where you see yourself going in the future.