Extramarital Affair and Mid-life Crisis: How It Happens

When a person experiences a mid-life crisis, does it always mean the potential for an extramarital affair? And will it always lead to that?

We all know what a mid-life crisis is. Some of us have even experienced it first-hand. For a lot of us, a mid-life crisis affects how we perceive our lives and the way we make decisions. And when it comes to our relationships, we tend to question whether or not we are with the person we’re supposed to be with, which usually leads to us making bad decisions.

For every relationship, there is always a chance that an extramarital affair will happen. No matter how strong a relationship you think you have. And when your partner is going through a mid-life crisis and is questioning every decision he or she has ever made, including your relationship, the chance of infidelity increases.

So how do you prevent your partner from having an extramarital affair even before it takes place?

It will be difficult for you to control what your partner thinks and does regarding his or her life, but what you can control is how you act in your relationship. It is important that you make your partner feel safe and secure about his or her decisions, especially regarding your relationship. Picking fights, generating arguments or getting mad for little things will not help you in this regard, and will make it more likely for your partner to consider an extramarital affair. You need to show your partner that he or she is welcome in the home you built and that you are there to support him or her through whatever is going on in his or her life.

Creating a safe and loving relationship is key. Strengthen your bond and rekindle the passion you had when you first got together. If you are rebuilding your relationship because of a big fight or falling out, remember the things that you love most about each other and remind yourselves of the good times you had. Think of the things you’ve learned, given and done for each other that you would not have experienced with other people, and keep your marriage from being touched by an extramarital affair.


  1. how can 1 person try and save the marriage if ur husband is living in a dream with the other woman and yet he is infatuated with other women 2 as young as his daughter and he is walking around with pics of his affairees daughter on his phone in her underwear and the 16yr old daughter is 8months pregnant, i just hope that my husband did not stoop that low as the 27yr old colleague is bad enough who is seeing oo the side , i am pretty certain it is not a sexual affair . But with the 16yr old girls mom, it is definitely sexual, becoz he had the audacity to tell me the day after he moved in with his affairee that he had sex for the first time with her the night he moved in with her. After a year with her she accused him of being 2 kind 2 the 27old and becoz she is one of the line managers at my husbands work, she had the 27yr old removed fron his shift. It is 4yrs later and he is stil living with affairee and stil seeing the 27yr old. Faithfully married for 28yrs and then throws everything overboard. He has had very little contact with us in the past but lately he seems tn be a bit more sane. He spent mothers day with us, but just could not fit in with the family, was v quiet and conversation could not flow. My daughter said she wuld not have her dad over again as it is too tense and they cannot relate 2 him anymore

  2. I was married for 27 years and the same happened to me my beloved wife in crisis destroyed everything that ever meant anything to me and left me for her first boyfriend which lasted 6 months as he was anal personality and took a local fella from a 33 year relationship,within 9 months she destroyed two happy family units 5 young adults in trauma together with two emotionally destroyed betrayed spouses and smirked when she did it.
    Life is crazy. It’s been two years since bomb drop she is still with the guy and I have had no contact from her and if she does come out of it and apologise for her actions I will throw them back in her face as she’s not worth the effort anymore.

  3. I was the happiest married woman alive until a year from when my husband lost his job, and started traveling. The first job was okay, we chatted online, and sent each other texts and prayed every night. The second job, I believe, was when it all crashed. He was about halfway through a miserable midlife crisis, and often said he didn’t know what I saw in him. I saw the same sexy, funny, intelligent man that he always was. My best friend was feeling very unloved in her relationship, and asked us not to be so loving with each other when she was around. We did our best. I found out he was seeing someone else online, and ignored it. I thought, “hey, I talk to men,” but soon I realized he was hiding it. Then texting a much younger woman. Before I knew what was happening, he was doing sneaky things, and the person he was texting was not my best friend like he said it was. Then came the “I don’t love you and probably never did speech , following days that turned to weeks while he was gone. One day he told me he had found a job. I was thrilled- until he told me I was not going. He left me, and came back her the holidays. I couldn’t stop crying, and he sat there and watched me with no feeling at all. I stayed with my best friend and vented everything going through my mind about the affair. I was so hurt and angry. I completely unburdened everything. I found out later that she had been leading me along. She not only didn’t believe me, but chose his side, and any hope I had of reuniting with my husband has turned to dust. I am beside myself. Now my chances are second to none unless a miracle happens. Is there any chance left?

  4. Peggy Perez says

    I have been married for 33years. I found an old email from 2006 indicating an affair. He was 49 , she was 37 and I was 55 then. The first 15 years were pretty good. Most of the stress was due to external forces and burdens placed on us and not necessarily on our relationship with each other. I am leaving him as soon as I have enough strength. I am afraid I will die before then. I couldn’t sleep for the first week or eat. My appetite is still almost nonexsistent but I am sleeping better. I went from 135 lbs. to 124 lbs. in 6 weeks without dieting or exercising and I continue to loose weight, my blood pressure has gone up 15-20 points (blood pressure usually drops after weight loss). The anxiety is so bad sometimes my hands shake. I also have pain in my chest and back. I am a “young” healthy 65 year old, no meds, drugs, tobacco or alcohol. I was used to feeling good and I feel so bad now. I cannot live with a cheater. I don’t care If it was 1 time or 100 times, 10 hours age or 10 years ago. We still both enjoy intimacy on a regular basis and I have not told him I know, but hopefully it will be over soon, my own survival is at stake. One of the things I loved most about him was his integrity. He would do the right thing, with a strong moral compass. I have been in love with a man who does not exist. I see him now for who he really is and do not want to stick around for anymore heartache. It is so difficult now for older women, we are expected to sit back and take it, or often times are taken out like garbage. I choose the wrong man. I highly recommend a book called Mapping the Heart. It helped me get through low self esteem ,self doubt, and blaming myself . Good Luck and future happiness to all. I really do feel your pain. God bless all.

  5. I know exactly I thought I had the best husband in the world, what a joke, lol. This man I trusted and loved for 24 long years so betrayed me in the worst way! Talk about Narcissism and a major Ego problem. I had just returned to work overnight, very tiring and two kids to care for. This bastard was sneaking his first affair into our marital bed in the basement of our home with two kids sleeping upstairs. Makes me sick even three year later. He had to be tested for disease for a year after he stopped the affair. Not once EVER and acceptance or an apology to me, his family or children. Then once his blood work came back clean, within a month another affair this time, an online dating site, I’m DONE, I filed for a divorce 15 months ago. It’s destroyed our family and finances.

  6. I know exactly Peggy me too I just turned 50 and I knew for about 5 years something was wrong. He was not the kind of man who ever spoke about his feelings no matter how hard I tried to be a good listener. The biggest issue was his addiction to his cell phone, like a teenager, 53 year old man and all the signs of Mid Life. I tried to get counseling but he refused, I got blamed for everything as he went through his first affair, right in my face, inside my home with a so called recovering drug addict. It’s been a nightmare from hell the past three years and destroying us financially.

Speak Your Mind