Judge Rules PI Not Stalking Cheating Wife

A judge in New York ruled in favor of the husband who hired a PI to follow his wife who was having an affair with their priest.

The woman petitioned for a court order to prevent her from being “stalked” by the PI.

The judge ruled against her, claiming her husband had a right to use the evidence in divorce proceedings.

See more the sordid details at http://www.law.com/jsp/article.jsp?id=1202441790642&Snooping_by_Detective_Legitimate_Part_of_Divorce_Process_Judge_Finds

What If S/he Continues Seeing OP?

What do you do if your spouse, with the affair exposed, continues seeing the other person?

Ambivalence often rules.

Get tips on how to verbally confront the ambivalence.

But, first start with THE question.

How Does the Confrontation of the OP Serve Me

What will the confrontation of the other person do for you?

In confronting the other person, underlying and very pertinent questions are:

What will confronting the other person get for me?
What kind of person am I and how do I want to express that in the confrontation?
What kind of person do I want to become and how can I use the confrontation to expedite that?
How can the confrontation best serve me?
What personal needs do I have now that the confrontation may meet?

This case study illustrates a person concerned about how SHE wants to present herself in the confrontation – no consideration for outcome in terms of the op, but only in terms of how she wants to be.

1. What was your purpose for confronting the OP and what did you say/do?

I simply walked up to her and congratulated her on a job well done in a show she was in with my husband.

2. What happened? What was the outcome?

She looked at me like a scared little rabbit. I really thought she was expecting me to blow up in her face, but I did the exact opposite. I felt very powerful and full of energy. I had taken back control. I wanted her to know that I existed. I was hoping it would burst the fantasy bubble. Later, I found out from my husband that she had been scared as I was walking toward her expecting a big scene. I calmly complimented her and gave her a hug. Wow! Tough, but necessary to charge neutral.

3. If you were to do it again, would you do it differently? What did you learn?

I would have done it the same exact way. Sometimes I wonder if I should have said something more sarcastic, but I always come back to being very pleased with how I did handle the situation.