Emotional Affairs: A Harmless Type of Affair?

What would you rather your partner’s affair would be? Would you rather that it was only about the sex? Or would you prefer that your partner had feelings for the other person?

“Are you in love with him or her?” That is usually the first question you ask your partner when you discover that he or she had an affair. Most people would dismiss sexless or emotional affairs like they’re nothing compared to physical affairs, but what would you rather hear your partner say – that it was only about sex or that he or she has developed feelings for another person?

When there’s no sex or physical intimacy involved in affairs, it’s somehow looked at as an unimportant and harmless event or mistake.

Sharing secrets, goals, problems, thoughts and feelings with someone who is not your spouse can only lead to trouble, and will most often lead to deeper feelings for the other person and probably even lead to physical intimacy eventually. You may not even notice that your friendship with this other person is getting deeper and deeper, and then all of a sudden you become attached to him or  her and forget all about your partner.

Most clients who have suffered going through emotional affairs are those who had the hardest time dealing with their partners’ betrayal. So, if you see yourself going through something like this or if you find that you are hiding a particular relationship with a person or anything else that you wouldn’t want your husband or wife to know about, it’s time for you to stop. Make an effort to stay away from this person, at least until you are certain that there is nothing going on other than friendship. Save your marriage.


  1. This post was right up my alley. In the book, When Loving You Is Right, but I Want to be Wrong, the wife experiences her husband going through an emotional affair. She goes through the gamut of emotions. She is a Christian and she believes in staying together until death do you part. Her husband began to hide the depth of the relationship from her. She met the woman before because it was a co-worker. But just like the post mentioned things began to get out of hand. The wife had an idea that something was going on. Then she began to see evidence of her suspicions being right. Of course she wrestled with the fact that maybe it was all her fault and that possibly she was falsely accusing him. This book offers help from a woman’s honest account of what happened to her. This book offers help from a Christian’s point of view. I know the book helped me because I lived it.

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