Sex during Infidelity: Not Always as Great as You Thought

January 31, 2012 by 2 Comments

Most of the time, those who have been cheated on imagine that the reason why their partners engage in affairs is because they aren’t satisfied sexually in your relationship, that they get that satisfaction from the other person. This isn’t always true.

There have been a few cases where the persons who were involved in extramarital affairs described their sexual encounters with the other person as nothing to be desired, and said that they hugely regret their infidelity.

One of these cases, in particular, was a male who went through an extramarital affair number six – I need to prove my desirability. He said that he’s always struggled with self-esteem issues. So when a woman who was 15 years younger than him started to give him attention, he was flattered and started feeling good about himself. They flirted for a few months and then “tried” to have sex on a few occasions. He said that it was not good at all, and it only made him feel even more guilty.

So before you think that what you imagined is the truth, talk to your partner, get the facts straight. Sometimes, things aren’t as great as they seem.

Filed Under: Infidelity and Tolerations, Infidelity Fears, Infidelity Help, Infidelity Impact, Infidelity Testimonials, Relationships: Marriage

Stop Doing That Which Doesn’t Work

July 21, 2009 by Leave a Comment

The first step in breaking free from the affair is stopping the behaviors which seem natural and almost instinctive considering the circumstances. Once these behaviors cease, some movement may be seen in breaking free.

Here are some comments from readers on stopping self-defeating actions:

1. How has this E-course helped you change the way you feel, think and act as you face infidelity. Give examples, if you can.

>>>I was determined not to plead and beg and tell him how much I love him, which was of course what I felt. Things are better, and he seems to have cut off contact with the other woman. I am not totally certain though as he insists they were “friends”.

>>>This E-course helped validate my concerns for my own sanity. I realized how important I am, my dreams, and how much energy I was wasting on him and the OP.I’m glad I found myself again. Thank you.

>>>I feel that your course has helped me to be a better loving person. My love and understanding for my husband has brought him back to me. He now calls the other women “Devil Woman” as she has fought him with name calling, fighting, demands, and pure meanness. Our marriage has reunited after one year of being apart and back and forth indecisions by him and his not knowing who he wanted to be with. Your course helped me to identify what things I had done wrong and the patience to just keep loving him and treating him with understanding. Also the “what not to do” and “what to do” suggestions your course gave me were wonderful and helped very much. Thank you for your help. His affair made our marriage better than it ever was and he treats me better than he ever did before. I know without your courses, your book, and your emails I would never have made it. Thank You

Filed Under: Infidelity Testimonials Tagged With: ,

How Does the Confrontation of the OP Serve Me

June 12, 2009 by 1 Comment

What will the confrontation of the other person do for you?

In confronting the other person, underlying and very pertinent questions are:

What will confronting the other person get for me?
What kind of person am I and how do I want to express that in the confrontation?
What kind of person do I want to become and how can I use the confrontation to expedite that?
How can the confrontation best serve me?
What personal needs do I have now that the confrontation may meet?

This case study illustrates a person concerned about how SHE wants to present herself in the confrontation – no consideration for outcome in terms of the op, but only in terms of how she wants to be.

1. What was your purpose for confronting the OP and what did you say/do?

I simply walked up to her and congratulated her on a job well done in a show she was in with my husband.

2. What happened? What was the outcome?

She looked at me like a scared little rabbit. I really thought she was expecting me to blow up in her face, but I did the exact opposite. I felt very powerful and full of energy. I had taken back control. I wanted her to know that I existed. I was hoping it would burst the fantasy bubble. Later, I found out from my husband that she had been scared as I was walking toward her expecting a big scene. I calmly complimented her and gave her a hug. Wow! Tough, but necessary to charge neutral.

3. If you were to do it again, would you do it differently? What did you learn?

I would have done it the same exact way. Sometimes I wonder if I should have said something more sarcastic, but I always come back to being very pleased with how I did handle the situation.

Filed Under: Confronting the Other Person, Infidelity Quickie, Infidelity Testimonials Tagged With: , , , ,
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