Infidelity, Curiosity and Protecting Your Spouse

Should you confront the other person? This scenario describes the husband attempting to protect his wife. What do you think? Leave a comment.

1. What was your purpose for confronting the OP and what did you say/do?

I thought they were just phoning each other but I wanted to know the inside story so I called him.

2. What happened? What was the outcome?

He told me ” I did your wife.” He tried to create that wedge between us. It did not work. I knew it was he who sought after her due to the numerous incoming calls and the fact she called me several times afterwards due to guilt. Our relationship is stronger now. I am going to stop working away from home and stay home to watch for these predators. He wanted to move in and take over my home.

3. If you were to do it again, would you do it differently? What did you learn?

Yes. I would stay home and work in our area and pay more attention to her activities and callers. She was just curious and found out there are vast numbers of cheaters out their who prey on lonely women.

Coach’s Comments:

1. I wonder from where the curiosity emerged. What was behind that? My experience tells me that many who had little sexual experience before marriage at some point experience that curiosity. (I’m not condoning sexual experimentation before marriage!) That curiosity is fairly normal. However, it is one thing to have it and another to act on it.

2. His act of calling the OP seems to be an act of protection. He seemed to know that she was vulnerable and limited in her capacity to set boundaries. Does she somehow lack the internal mechanisms to set boundaries or is there a naivety regarding relationships, especially those with the opposite sex?

3. He seems to assume his role as protector and she also likes him protecting her. This balance and agreement in the relationship might work fairly well. However, it will be tested frequently. If the two of them have a conscious awareness of their roles, they could ward off future problems.