Healing From Infidelity and Affairs

September 11, 2008 by Leave a Comment

Healing from infidelity and affairs is a process. Sometimes that process can be accelerated. Here are some comments from those who have used my materials and are on the road to healing:

>>>>>It (Break Free From the Affair) calmed my irrational thinking and I realized it was not about me.

>>>>>I learned that the affair was not my fault- a difficult thing to come to terms with. I like how it was worded that the problems in the marriage may be partly my fault- but absolutely no part of the affair is my fault. I love the chat room- lots of helpful people there. I liked the listings for the different types of affairs. I also like the things to do and not to do to try to get things back on track. Being positive is hard but eventually fake smiling and laughing will turn back into real smiling and laughing.

>>>>>It made me see options I had not seen before. My situation is quite complex, a 32-year old affair while my spouse was working in different city about 120 miles away. I was totally unaware of the situation as the meetings occurred during lunch in his apartment.

>>>>>It really helped me believe that “I” would get through this in a healthy way no matter the out come. I do want to heal our relationship but I have learned that we have to now begin from a new point and use tools we are not familiar with because the tools we’ve been using are obviously not working for us.

>>>>>Gave me something to focus on mentally, made me realize I’m not alone, helped me to identify the dynamics of our relationship and the dynamics of the affair.

Filed Under: Infidelity Testimonials Tagged With: , , ,

Surviving Marital Infidelity: Shifts you Make

September 2, 2008 by 1 Comment

Surviving marital infidelity and extramarital affairs means you make shifts that move you away from that which doesn’t work and causes pain to that which works for you and your relationship and creates hope and positive feelings.

I’ve taken some responses from those who have used my E-course, “Killer Mistakes that Prolong the Affair and Your Agony,” and have made significant shifts to that enable them to survive the infidelity.

Here’s the question I ask:

1. How has this E-course helped you change the way you feel, think and act as you face infidelity. Give examples, if you can.

Used a powerful skill:

Honestly what I got out of the book was ” Charging neutral”. That has helped when I see my husband getting frustrated and angry!

gave me strategies that help me to move faster and start working on myself instead of trying to fix everything.

Was able to move on from a destructive relationship:

For the first time in 23yrs of my so called marriage , i have filed for divorce and know that i made the right decision.i feel good about myself and know what i want from a marriage.I feel i`m in control of my life and the e-course just pointed out all the mistakes i made ,by trying to fix and work on my marriage.It is tiring and been dealing with affairs since the start of my marriage.I now know i cannot change my husband who refuses to go for help,thinking providing is all he must do in the marriage.

Inner Strength:

This course had made me stronger

Realized I’m not alone:

that im not alone, that im not crazy, and that all the “common sense” responses i have are just not going to work.

It has helped to clarify things and let me know that what I’m going through , so many others are to. It helps to know that I’m not alone

It’s his problem:

I have realized that the affair was HIS problem not mine. No matter how I tried to pry before He always said HE was the problem not me. Now I understand he might be telling the truth and it took a load off my chest.

Filed Under: Surviving Infidelity Tagged With: , , ,

Surviving Infidelity: My Healing Point

August 20, 2008 by 1 Comment

How does one survive and recover from infidelity? What changes the flow? That’s a question I asked my readers. Read and leave your comments and questions in the comment link below. You words are appreciated by many!

1. What was the turning point(s) in your recovery? What part, if any, did my material (e-book, articles, site) play?

>>>>>The part of my recovery is when I stopped drinking over the situation and finally moved out on my own.

>>>>>To me, the turning point had a lot to do w/ the idea of realizing that I didn’t have to blame myself for my spouses infidelities. I also drew alot from you newsletter that discussed the reasons why certain things happened….types of infidelities, etc… made me feel like I wasn’t alone.

>>>>>A turning point for me was that through reading your site, and my therapist, I realized that I have power as the “queen” of my family. I decided to stay in my marriage and try to work it out. I know that the affair had nothing to do with me. Even if my husband says I did, I know that he is not capable of reflecting on his own actions. He is a narcissist and I do not go along with his crazed reasoning. Another turning point was when I realized what life would be like if I left, (splitting the week with child custody ). I am still trying to deal with him, but most importantly I know that the affair was all about him and his insecurity. He needed a BMW , a woman on the side, and took out his anger on me. It blew up in his face when the other woman wrote a letter to me! It’s been a few years now , and I sort of feel sorry for him. He can’t relate to people and it extends into the rest of his life. (business, personal).

>>>>>One of the things that has helped me more than anything was reading in your material that the feelings I was experiencing was normal. I didn’t feel that they were because they were so powerful and so confusing, but sometimes I would read from passages written be people in my same shoes the exact description of how I felt. That made me know that I was not alone and more importantly, I was NOT losing my mind. I am still in my journey to find my way back to normal, so please do not stop the good work you do.

Filed Under: Surviving Infidelity Tagged With: , , , ,
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