Surviving Infidelity: Knowing the Kind of Affair

The shotgun approach or throw something against the wall to see what sticks are problem solving strategies that are problematic for facing infidelity.

For one thing, time is a premium. The intensity of the pain and agony cries out to be addressed right now. Stopping the affair is a priority right NOW!

So, where does one begin and what strategies should one use when discovering infidelity?

You save time, agony and confusion by knowing what your target is and what you must do to hit that specific target.

I’ve outlined 7 unique types of affairs and have specific strategies for each kind of affair. Blasting away won’t work. But, surgically approaching your spouse and the infidelity with a sharp scalpel (I’m not sure I like this metaphor.. but.. you get the point!) saves time and headaches.

Here’s what one reader said:

“It (Break Free From the Affair) made me realize that the steps I was now taking (after three years of ‘fighting’) were actually supported by your tips in this book. The categorization of the 7 kinds of affairs was extremely helpful. I have now given up on ‘techniques’ that do not work for this kind of affair and have intensified the other techniques. IT WORKS! And more important: I AM FEELING BETTER, regardless of where the affair or my marriage is going!”

Surviving Infidelity: My Healing Point

How does one survive and recover from infidelity? What changes the flow? That’s a question I asked my readers. Read and leave your comments and questions in the comment link below. You words are appreciated by many!

1. What was the turning point(s) in your recovery? What part, if any, did my material (e-book, articles, site) play?

>>>>>The part of my recovery is when I stopped drinking over the situation and finally moved out on my own.

>>>>>To me, the turning point had a lot to do w/ the idea of realizing that I didn’t have to blame myself for my spouses infidelities. I also drew alot from you newsletter that discussed the reasons why certain things happened….types of infidelities, etc… made me feel like I wasn’t alone.

>>>>>A turning point for me was that through reading your site, and my therapist, I realized that I have power as the “queen” of my family. I decided to stay in my marriage and try to work it out. I know that the affair had nothing to do with me. Even if my husband says I did, I know that he is not capable of reflecting on his own actions. He is a narcissist and I do not go along with his crazed reasoning. Another turning point was when I realized what life would be like if I left, (splitting the week with child custody ). I am still trying to deal with him, but most importantly I know that the affair was all about him and his insecurity. He needed a BMW , a woman on the side, and took out his anger on me. It blew up in his face when the other woman wrote a letter to me! It’s been a few years now , and I sort of feel sorry for him. He can’t relate to people and it extends into the rest of his life. (business, personal).

>>>>>One of the things that has helped me more than anything was reading in your material that the feelings I was experiencing was normal. I didn’t feel that they were because they were so powerful and so confusing, but sometimes I would read from passages written be people in my same shoes the exact description of how I felt. That made me know that I was not alone and more importantly, I was NOT losing my mind. I am still in my journey to find my way back to normal, so please do not stop the good work you do.