Surviving marital infidelity and extramarital affairs means you make shifts that move you away from that which doesn’t work and causes pain to that which works for you and your relationship and creates hope and positive feelings.
I’ve taken some responses from those who have used my E-course, “Killer Mistakes that Prolong the Affair and Your Agony,” and have made significant shifts to that enable them to survive the infidelity.
Here’s the question I ask:
1. How has this E-course helped you change the way you feel, think and act as you face infidelity. Give examples, if you can.
Used a powerful skill:
Honestly what I got out of the book was ” Charging neutral”. That has helped when I see my husband getting frustrated and angry!
gave me strategies that help me to move faster and start working on myself instead of trying to fix everything.
Was able to move on from a destructive relationship:
For the first time in 23yrs of my so called marriage , i have filed for divorce and know that i made the right decision.i feel good about myself and know what i want from a marriage.I feel i`m in control of my life and the e-course just pointed out all the mistakes i made ,by trying to fix and work on my marriage.It is tiring and been dealing with affairs since the start of my marriage.I now know i cannot change my husband who refuses to go for help,thinking providing is all he must do in the marriage.
Inner Strength:
This course had made me stronger
Realized I’m not alone:
that im not alone, that im not crazy, and that all the “common sense” responses i have are just not going to work.
It has helped to clarify things and let me know that what I’m going through , so many others are to. It helps to know that I’m not alone
It’s his problem:
I have realized that the affair was HIS problem not mine. No matter how I tried to pry before He always said HE was the problem not me. Now I understand he might be telling the truth and it took a load off my chest.
Thank you so much for your E-course. It has helped me to see so many killer mistakes that I was making. I realized that the affair is all about him and his lack of self esteem. I realized that he is missing bits and pieces of HIS life and he is trying to fill the void that HE has created all by himself. He sought to make himself feel better about himself. The affair has very little to do with me and everything to do with him and his over inflated ego.
The most important skill that I have learned is to Charge Neutral. I have blown his mind with that one! He doesn’t know quite what to think of me. I actually told him that I didn’t care if he left when he threatened to. A month later, he is still at home. I think the affair has ended but he is very angry and hostile towards me. He is still very much in denial too. He claims that he has done nothing wrong even when confronted with proof.
I realized through the E-course that I can’t work on my marriage if he is not willing to. I am now armed with strategies that are helping me to deal with his attitude towards me and our daughter. The only thing that I haven’t been able to over come is my fear of the future and “Not Knowing” what exactly is going on with him and the OW. He isn’t willing to discuss it and I’m afraid of confronting him again because of the rage that comes out when I even mention our problems.