Confronting Your Partner: Sudden Changes Should Not Be Ignored

Is your partner acting strange? Do you feel like something is off with him or her? Do think that he or she is hiding something from you? And, if you do, should you ask him or her about it?

An increasing number of men and women have engaged in an extramarital affair at some point in their marriages, and chances are, someone close to you is a part of that number since there are quite a few affairs that never even get discovered.

Although it is a vital part of any relationship to trust your partner, you should always remember that you have to trust in your own instincts as well. There are some telltale signs that will give away your partner if ever he or she is indeed having an affair, and you shouldn’t ignore them once you see them.

A few of them are pretty basic, such as a sudden change in his or her daily routine and behavioral patterns. Others take a while to get noticed, like a lack of focus in work or any activity he or she is doing, a detachment or disinterest in things related to your relationship, or a change in habits.

Signs like these should not be ignored, and should be confronted right away, especially if for some reason you find it very out of character and uncomfortable. The way the confrontation will go will, of course, will depend on the status of your relationship. Make sure that you do in a way that will bring reconciliation and understanding to the relationship, and not cause conflict or fights. Confronting your partner with your suspicions is very different from attacking him or her with them, so be careful with the way that you do it. Remember that knowing the truth of what is going on in his or her life is better than being filled with questions that don’t get answered.

Infidelity Decisions: What’s Best for the Kids?

It’s always a difficult decision to make, choosing between staying in a marriage and leaving it, when infidelity has been discovered or revealed. And it becomes an even more difficult when it’s not just you that you have to think about, but what’s best for you children as well.

The majority of couples who are going through this situation, much like yourself, have only one thing on their minds while thinking of what it is that they should do, which is to make a decision that will be best for everyone in the family as well as themselves.

Most of the time, parents hide their issues and troubles from their kids because they want to protect them from their marital problems, and they don’t want their kids to worry. And although this is done with the best of intentions, there is a possibility that it could backfire and leave your kids shocked upon hearing the truth about your relationship and the things that are happening in it.

In a lot of cases, though, kids prove to be very intuitive when it comes to their parents’ relationships. Even when parents hide their fights or troubles from their kids, the children still can sense when there is something wrong or that there is some tension between you and your partner. Although they may not have the details of what is wrong in your marriage, they can still feel that something is off and will avoid discussing it until you bring it up yourself.

How we make decisions in our lives differs from person to person, and when we’re stuck choosing between staying in and leaving a marriage, this holds even more true. What pushes one person to a decision is different from another and everyone has different motivations in doing so. In this particular situation, couples may decide to stay together out of guilt or a sense of loyalty, some may decide to leave the marriage because they are consumed by pain and betrayal.

In deciding whether or not to stay in the marriage after infidelity, the most important thing that you have to consider is still your children. Think about how it will make them fell, what they will learn from your decision and how it will affect them. Children are stronger than most people think, and how they will cope with what is happening in your marital relationship will depend on how you guide and help them get through it.

Staying in or leaving your marriage depends only on you and whether or not you will be able to forgive your partner’s infidelity and work on creating a stronger marriage. Yes, there are factors and people to consider in making this decision, but the final decision should be only yours to make.

When it comes to relationships, there are no guarantees that what you have is a sure thing. You can only find someone who will best complement who you are and work hard with that person to make things work even when the challenges are hard. Good and happy relationships don’t come easy. It takes a lot of work and effort that you and your partner must be able to handle. Show your children what it is like to love and what it takes to make it work because your children will look up to you and learn from your actions. Whatever decision you end up making, whether you stay in your marriage or not, make sure that you do it in a way that will show your kids the best example of love in action that you can.

Real-Life Affair Situations: Changing Depression to Hope

There are plenty of different stories, situations and scenarios that are encountered during one-on-one coaching sessions. In one of them, a client spoke about her infidelity crisis where she says that she feels like her depressions caused her husband to have an affair because he was having a hard time living with it. Her depression was so strong that sometimes she wouldn’t go out of the house for days and days, and she would only focus on what her husband was feeling and how he was treating her. She has been trying to work through her depression and move past it, and trying to figure out what she wants for herself and her marriage but she still hasn’t decided whether or not she wants to stay in the marriage. She still lives with her husband in their home, but she hasn’t really committed to anything yet.

You will see that she’s come a long way from being depressed and having her world revolve around her husband. The affair has opened her eyes to a lot of opportunities. She views this experience as well as all her past experiences as her chance to help other people who are going through what she went through, and she is figuring out a way that she can do that. Her focus has changed from only her husband to a bigger picture, and although she sees that her husband is making changes in his life, it isn’t enough for her. She’s decided that if he isn’t ready or willing to give her what she needs from him, that it will be better for them to be apart, and she is ready to move forward with her life.

You see, even the seemingly worst situations can have good endings. And if you see yourself going through the same in your relationship, here are a few things you can do to help you:

1. If your partner isn’t making the changes you were hoping for, let him know what you want to happen and be specific about he changes you want from him. Which of your personal needs should he focus on?

2. If you find yourself having a hard time committing to a decision regarding your relationship, take some time to reflect on why you think that is happening. Are there any particular reasons why you don’t want to make a decision? Think of what you really want to happen in your life and in your relationship.