This case study illustrates the importance of what I call charging neutral. The bottom line: place yourself in a position in which you, with an inner calm and strength, can state your position and concerns, your version of the truth, with clarity.

Few words. Powerful, pointed words, however.

Charging neutral is easier said than done. It took this woman 2 months to get to the point where she was ready. Note what she had to do to get to that point of confronting him with power, calm and the truth.

Case Study:

When I suspected he was having an affair, I suffered not knowing for sure. I had low self-esteem because I was overweight, so before I confronted him, I worked out for two months. I told myself I had to look better in order to empower myself through better self-esteem. When I looked better, I wrote him a long letter and asked him to read it, discussing our marriage, my feelings, his bad treatment of me, but didn’t mention the affair suspicions. I wanted to confront him with that face to face to see his eyes, his reaction. The letter broke the wall between us, then I used that opening to ask him. He admitted to it, said he was already going to end it, he was sorry, and didn’t want me know or be hurt. I am still in so much pain…but it was a beginning, and hopefully we will see this through, and I will find peace in my heart one day.

2. Jot down a turning point between you and your partner that helped the two of you move in a positive direction. Tell the story, if you would.

self improvement has been the best..losing weight, more care about my appearance. But I still suffer….it has been 7 months since I confronted him. But exercise and self improvement, and asking him to aknowledge how badly I hurt has helped.