Emotional Affairs: A Harmless Type of Affair?

June 7, 2012 by 1 Comment

What would you rather your partner’s affair would be? Would you rather that it was only about the sex? Or would you prefer that your partner had feelings for the other person?

“Are you in love with him or her?” That is usually the first question you ask your partner when you discover that he or she had an affair. Most people would dismiss sexless or emotional affairs like they’re nothing compared to physical affairs, but what would you rather hear your partner say – that it was only about sex or that he or she has developed feelings for another person?

When there’s no sex or physical intimacy involved in affairs, it’s somehow looked at as an unimportant and harmless event or mistake.

Sharing secrets, goals, problems, thoughts and feelings with someone who is not your spouse can only lead to trouble, and will most often lead to deeper feelings for the other person and probably even lead to physical intimacy eventually. You may not even notice that your friendship with this other person is getting deeper and deeper, and then all of a sudden you become attached to him or  her and forget all about your partner.

Most clients who have suffered going through emotional affairs are those who had the hardest time dealing with their partners’ betrayal. So, if you see yourself going through something like this or if you find that you are hiding a particular relationship with a person or anything else that you wouldn’t want your husband or wife to know about, it’s time for you to stop. Make an effort to stay away from this person, at least until you are certain that there is nothing going on other than friendship. Save your marriage.

Filed Under: Extramarital Affair Types, Infidelity and Tolerations, Infidelity Coaching, Infidelity Decisions, Infidelity Fears, Infidelity Help, Infidelity Impact, Marriage Makeover, Personal stuff, Relationship Tips, Relationships: Marriage, Stopping the Affair Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,

Dealing with Adultery: Learning to Trust Your Instincts

January 24, 2012 by 3 Comments

Studies show that a great percentage of people in relationships or marriages have, at some point, tried being in extramarital affairs. And most likely than not, one or two people close to you are a part of that statistic without you knowing.

There have been plenty of cases where the one involved in an affair did not tell his or her partner about it, and have never been discovered. This should tell you to make yourself aware of any signs that could point to your partner having an affair. The most basic of all is a change in habits and behavioral patterns. You could be sensing that something is “off” or “out of character” with your partner but not be able to say specifically what it is.

Although trust is a very important aspect in any relationship, you should be a little cautious when you notice that something is different with your partner, and be brave enough to confront him or her about it. A change in behavior may not always mean that he or she is having an affair, but there still is that possibility.

Educate yourself and understand that there are different kinds of affairs – why and how they start, what it means to your partner, and how your relationship affected his or her decision to go through with it.

Filed Under: Confronting the Other Person, Infidelity Fears, Infidelity Help, Personal stuff, Relationships: Marriage, Stopping the Affair Tagged With: , , , ,

Breaking Free From the Affair

July 15, 2009 by 1 Comment

What does it take to break free from the affair? What does it take to get to the point of influencing the direction of the affair, without “trying?”

Here are some comments from those on the journey who responded to my request to give their review of my ebook, “Break Free From the Affair.”

>>>Realized that the affair was not as a direct consequence of my actions. It also stopped me behaving in a way that would prevent the breaking free from the affair. The book has also made me center more of myself and improving my self esteem.

>>>It has helped me in regaining self-confidence before I take any decision about my marriage. Getting to know that his affair was HIS decision and not my fault, has helped me to stay strong and focused through this painful situation

>>>We finally talked – I mean REALLY talked. Where he felt safe talking and opened up. No lectures from me – no droning on about whatever I think. And I REALLY listened. It made me feel so good about myself!

>>>Knowing the type of Affair helps to understand the why, and how to go about making the decision whether or not to stay in the marriage. It’s been particularly difficult for me as this my spouse’s 3rd affair (that I know of) in our 45 years of marriage. Not really sure myself why I’m still here looking for answers.

>>>I have more information and was able to handle the situation more adaptly. I’m able to identify the person and the reason my wife strays.

>>>It was like a road map because I wanted to work on my marriage but did not have any clues.

Filed Under: Extramarital Affair Types, Infidelity Help, Stopping the Affair Tagged With: ,
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