Archives for June 2012

Trust in another person is very hard to gain,  but once you have it, it can be the best thing in the world. So what are the easiest ways you can do build and develop the trust you and your partner have in each other and in your marriage?

Here are just some of the many things you can try:

1. It’s important for you, when it comes to building trust in your relationship, to continue to do or say the things that you did when your relationship began as it goes on. This continuity or consistency will be something that your partner will sort of depend on because he or she will be able to know or expect what you will do in a given situation.

2. Never make any sudden changes, especially in your individual or personal life, without letting your partner know about them. Changes that appear out of the blue especially in your behavior and actions tend to cause doubt and suspicion, and put a dent in your partner’s trust in you.

3. The saying “actions speak louder than words” is very apt in building trust in a relationship. Saying one thing but doing something different is one of the main causes of distrust in any relationship. It also sends the message that you are unreliable and dishonest, which aren’t good qualities in a partner.

4. Never underestimate your partner. Sometimes, when you deal with crises or problems in your life, you usually keep it from your partner because you want to “protect” him or her from it, but this usually backfires. What you see as “protection” usually translates as mistrust to your partner, like you think that he or she is incapable of handling whatever it is that you are going through.

5. Keeping things from your partner, whatever those things may be, is something that should be done with plenty of caution. Most people in relationships believe that everything should be shared between the couple, that there shouldn’t be any secrets, and any information left out is something to be suspicious of.

6. People believe that the only way to nourish or nurture a relationship is to provide your partner’s needs continually, but this is only true to a certain level. Just as it is important for you to provide your partner’s needs, it is also important that your partner provides yours. So make sure that you let your partner know what those needs are. Building trust means knowing that both of you will be there to provide what the other needs.

7. Allow yourself time for self-discovery and reflection. Knowing yourself well is just as important as knowing your partner. Giving yourself time to learn who you truly are will allow you to discover things that you probably never knew. And all the things you find out about yourself, you can share with your partner so that he or she too can know more about you.

8. Allow yourself to say no. There are a lot of people who will ask a lot of things from you, even your partner. Saying no doesn’t always mean that you don’t want to help or that you are a bad person. Saying no means that you are choosing to do something for yourself rather than for another person.

9. Being able to charge neutral in cases of infidelity will benefit you greatly in the long run. Charging neutral means that you keep being consistent in your communication with your partner, you tell him or her what you’re feeling about a certain situation honestly and directly, and you don’t react by bursting whenever you hear something you don’t like or don’t agree with.

10. Do not stray away from a little conflict in your relationship. Avoiding confronting your problems or concerns tend to lead to resentment and is never good for relationships. Although fights are always ugly, sometimes they are necessary for the relationship to be able to function properly.