Here are some more comments by readers who found Break Free From the Affair to help them on their healing journey:
>>>>It made me feel less alone and less ashamed that I had somehow failed to meet my husband’s needs. He told me I “drove” him to it but I now also know that I didn’t and it was not my fault that he chose to go outside of our marriage to resolve whatever issues that bothered him. I also now know that his excuse was an afterthought to justify his action.
>>>>It let me know that I am alone and that I should not blame myself. That there are definite patterns and profiles to affairs and that the route I was taking was one of the least success when wanting to repair a relationship. It gave me advice and confidence in following thhrough with the suggestions.
>>>>I decided to start talking to him again. I had reached a point where I was so afraid to say the “wrong” thing that I had distanced to a dangerous point. He had visited an attorney, to get “some information”, so he could “move forward”. I was afraid to DO anything, but I had reached the point where I was more afraid NOT to. Your materials, coupled with my faith in God, have helped calm my fears. I do not believe that the “issues” lie primarily with me (I am not without issues, but I was actively improving myself PRIOR to the affair onset, and was in a fantastic place at the time it began. I was actually working to heal the issues of concern between us), but this gave me the courage to resume showing myself to him, revealing to him who I am and where I stand. I had ceased to do so also because I felt that he (my husband, who was historically such a private person) had become an informational pipeline to his “emotional affair” counterpart, and I did not want MY heart & soul revealed to HER, particularly if we do not reconcile. However, I have decided that I must be fearless…I believe in my faith, my vows, my marriage…I have to do this.
>>>>Situation is not quite like any of below. H has indicated that he wants divorce but despite months of saying that, has not yet moved forward (who knows, this could be it). Is in relationship that is now going on 9 months of living together. I am not going to resist if he files. Helped me calm down and recognize that I cannot get caught up in this drama. Helped with some actual verbiage in conversations w/H. I have, however, resisted discussing the situation w/him. Gave some hope (though that hope is waning).
>>>>Because of your advice to “charge neutral”, I was able to control my emotion when I was talking to my husband this afternoon. He told me things that answered some of my questions though I still have some doubts.