Archives for July 2009

Stop Doing That Which Doesn’t Work

July 21, 2009 by Leave a Comment

The first step in breaking free from the affair is stopping the behaviors which seem natural and almost instinctive considering the circumstances. Once these behaviors cease, some movement may be seen in breaking free.

Here are some comments from readers on stopping self-defeating actions:

1. How has this E-course helped you change the way you feel, think and act as you face infidelity. Give examples, if you can.

>>>I was determined not to plead and beg and tell him how much I love him, which was of course what I felt. Things are better, and he seems to have cut off contact with the other woman. I am not totally certain though as he insists they were “friends”.

>>>This E-course helped validate my concerns for my own sanity. I realized how important I am, my dreams, and how much energy I was wasting on him and the OP.I’m glad I found myself again. Thank you.

>>>I feel that your course has helped me to be a better loving person. My love and understanding for my husband has brought him back to me. He now calls the other women “Devil Woman” as she has fought him with name calling, fighting, demands, and pure meanness. Our marriage has reunited after one year of being apart and back and forth indecisions by him and his not knowing who he wanted to be with. Your course helped me to identify what things I had done wrong and the patience to just keep loving him and treating him with understanding. Also the “what not to do” and “what to do” suggestions your course gave me were wonderful and helped very much. Thank you for your help. His affair made our marriage better than it ever was and he treats me better than he ever did before. I know without your courses, your book, and your emails I would never have made it. Thank You

Filed Under: Infidelity Testimonials Tagged With: ,

Infidelity and Place of Family and Friends

July 18, 2009 by Leave a Comment

In my e-course I suggest leaving family and friends out of the equation when facing infidelity.

Now, some families and friends can handle such a crisis in the marriage of someone close to them, but I believe that is rare. Side-taking and knee jerk advice to protect a person from hurt and pain is often the first response. And, this response is not helpful.

Here are 3 case studies of those recovering from infidelity:

1. How has this E-course helped you change the way you feel, think and act as you face infidelity. Give examples, if you can.

I read the part about not getting family and friends involved over and over to keep me from calling my friends and just dumping on them. I am so grateful, now, because they are not angry at him and I am able to re-establish his ties with friends and relatives now that he’s ready to come back into the circle. I also put all my books away and stopped asking him to understand how I “feel” and expecting him to read things that explained affairs and how they damaged marriages.

the first time I subscribed to the E-course I could not take in much of the information. I believe I was too traumatized. I actually had “monkey chatter” or “white noise” in my brain. It was extremely painful. Now, many months later, I re subscribed for the E-course, and it was like seeing the info for the first time. I wish, wish, wish, I could have had some get right in my face a full year ago, and tell me the info in this course… and I wish wish wish, I could have heard it. I do not know if my marriage would be saved or not. But now… I feel I am at the nearly too late point, with a husband who is only considering divorce, divorce, divorce. I feel hurt by his actions. And yet, I know it is not me. FINALLY I understand this, thanks in part to your work, and the fine people on the infidelity chat board you host.

It help keep my marriage together.Especially the part not to get family and friends involved No one knows except my brother and he found out six months after I did.No one else and I am so thankful..your site and book saved me.It was the best book that I could relate to and the best part was when it is not my fault but issues my spouse had and was going through.

Filed Under: Recovery From Infidelity Tagged With: ,

Infidelity Recovery: Anticipating the Dips

July 17, 2009 by Leave a Comment

Once you begin to learn about infidelity, stand back and observe the patterns, you can brace yourself for the ride. More than that, as you anticipate the dips and loops of the ride you find yourself prepared and they lose their frightening edge.

Read this case study:

1. How has this E-course helped you change the way you feel, think and act as you face infidelity. Give examples, if you can.

This e-course had given me specific examples of types of affairs, and concrete suggestions for ways to deal with them. If I had not had these types to think about, I would never have been able to sort through anything that was happening to me in any logical sort of way. When I initially became aware that the affair was a reality, I had not a clue as to where to begin…and the first overwhelming feeling was that something was horribly wrong with ME. After I downloaded the e-book, I spent many,many hours reading and re-reading the kinds of affairs. The support it gave me was incredible, because I slowly began to see that it was not so much about ME, though I certainly had a part in all of it, but it was much more about HIM! The roller coaster ride became a ride that I was familiar with… I was riding the same ride many times! Instead of being surprised the curves and loops, I began to anticipate them…. I started to see some patterns in my husband’s behaviors….just as one can start to anticipate when one needs to hang on to the seat of a roller coaster as it approaches its biggest curves and loops! Of course, hanging on to the seat does not take away the feelings in the pit of one’s stomach….but just knowing that one can anticipate something about the ride begins to make it a different ride….after all….roller coasters are fun for lots of people!

Filed Under: Infidelity Help Tagged With: ,
« Previous Page
Next Page »