Archives for September 2008

Infidelity: Yes, You CAN Break Free

Talk about breaking free…

Watch this video. This dog may be going through the same process as you….

Infidelity: Recovering from the affair

How does one recover from the devastation of infidelity? I posed this question, attempting to get feedback on my ecourse: Killer Mistakes. These are responses from two of my readers:

How has this E-course helped you change the way you feel, think and act as you face infidelity. Give examples, if you can.

1. My instinct was to want to shame and punish some sense into the perpetrator, and his co perpetrator. It did not work. Had I read your ebook sooner, I could’ve saved myself the frustration. After reading the e-book, I was at least comforted to know that the terrible feelings of grief and off the chart emotions I experienced were not bizarre. I would have bought the e-book sooner, but I was afraid of getting spammed by all kinds of wacko mail, or just my privacy being stepped on.

2. I knew deep down the affair wasn’t my fault. I saw the danger signs and tried to warn him not to spend one-on-one time with her, but that didn’t work, so I knew if I couldn’t stop him from making the mistake, I couldn’t have caused it either. Having the types of affairs described to me really helped. It made it really clear that it was all about him and his inability to communicate what he really needed.

Infidelity, Confrontation and Nonreactivity

What happens when you confront the other person?

How can you use it to your advantage.

In response to my survey:

1. What was your purpose for confronting the OP and what did you say/do?

I just wanted to know if my husband was telling the truth so I called her. Asked her if they are still seeing each other. Until now,I don’t think hubby knows that I called her.

2. What happened? What was the outcome?

Luckily,I had already read Dr. Huizenga’s Break-Free-From-The-Affair so I was charging neutral and it was a success.She confirmed what hubby said that he already ended it.

3. If you were to do it again, would you do it differently? What did you learn?

I learned and applied what I read from the e-book so I don’t think I’ll do it in any other way.

Coach’s comments:

Yes, charging neutral can be a powerful tool in maintaining one’s personal power in a confrontation.

Charging neutral is basically a refusal to react, internally and externally to the other person or your circumstances. You don’t flinch. You don’t react. You don’t give away your power. No one ruffles your feathers.

Easier said than done. But, when used, it often gets you exactly what you desire.