Surviving infidelity is the first step.

Once you are past the survival mode, an awareness kicks in of the myriad of issues, emotionally powerful issues, that confront you.

The realization that your life will never be the same descends.

Read how infidelity has challenged and impacted the life of these readers as they respond to my question:

List 3 or 4 meanings that your partner’s affair has for you. That is to say, what impact is the infidelity having upon YOU? For example, how has is changed what you think about? how you spend your time? how you think of yourself? etc? Tell a story or give examples of how your life is now different.

my wife was in a 3 year affair that ended 2 years ago..we have worked alot on our marriage via counseling etc..my wife is very private and guarded..we have been married 27 years ..the biggest impact is in how to get her to express..she says she is over it and doesn’t want questions etc or to ever be reminded of the affair..she says she knows how badly it hurt us and our grown children but its time to move on..2- i still wonder at times what she is thinking about..she says she only thinks of him when i bring it up..she lied alot before and its hard to believe her..3- i found out by reading her emails..they were very sexual..i get triggered when she is on her email or cell phone but her work requires it..4- believing in my gut..so my life is different because i cant remember what it was like to trust..all our memories that were good seem to be faded away and tainted from this experience..i have gone through extensive therapy and looked at my role etc..but its still hard to come to grips with everything.

1. My husbands infidelities have made me realize that I have gotten fat and look like my mother. I have lost the slim and trimness of who I used to be and settled for a soft mother image…that he hates of which was told to me by one of the other women that I called when I found out about the infidelity/s. 2. My self esteem, and my goals as far as being self reliant and supported financially. I have lost my independence. 3. I cannot have passion for my husband anymore because I don’t really know him. And what I thought I did know, must have been just a lie. So sex is not passionate. 4. There is no desire in our relationship to please one another or to be involved in extended family gatherings. I probably would let his family know about his behavior if I had to be around them more. So I limit when and if I wish to allow our children to see them.