What One Tolerates in Infidelity and Extramarital Affairs

What do people tolerate in affairs. Here’s response to my question:

What are the 5 top things you presently are tolerating or putting up with as you face infidelity?

1. Multiple daily text messages back and forth between my wife and OP. 2. Occasional long phone calls from my wife to the OP on her cell phone. 3. Wife trip to California to see OP (old boyfriend from 30 years ago), (we live in Rocky Mountain West).
4. Anger directed at me for not being as sensitive and emotionally supportive to my wife as OP, and no matter what I do, it is not enough. 5. Not connecting much with my wife because she is getting so much more emotional support from the OP.

1. living apart from my spouse as he is trying to figure things out, seeing the other woman, I’m dealing with contact from him and the promise, of “maybe, down the road” we can be together again…..kind of like Chinese Water Torture.
2. I have contact (phone calls, emails – we are living in separate cities) with him daily, unless, he is with her – she doesn’t know he still is in contact with me, so, I’m not allowed to contact him on these “weekends” unless its an emergency
3. I’m still in disbelief that this has actually happened, things in our marriage “seemed” to be great, plans were made….I can’t fall out of love with him, even though I think I should (and so does everyone else)
4. When we were living together, he would excuse himself and call “her”. The time he is with “her”, he doesn’t maintain contact with me, but he “has” to take her never-ending phone calls
5. I seem to be in this “limbo” stage, my heart will not let me move on, but my “mind” is telling me to move on.