Why Are You Really Staying in the Marriage?

August 21, 2012 by 2 Comments

When you discover that your spouse is having an affair, what would be your reasons for staying in the marriage?

A lot of people tend to be confused about what their next step should be when they find out that their partners have been involved in extramarital affairs. There’s the pain and confusion of being betrayed by someone you loved who you thought you could trust. But there is also the hope that everything you worked for and everything you believed was true can still be saved. This is the cause of the internal struggle you experience with infidelity crises — are you leaving or staying in the marriage?

There is absolutely nothing wrong with having doubts, and everyone has their reasons for doing so. But if staying in the marriage after the affair is the decision you choose, are you sure that you are doing it for the proper reasons?

The following are some reasons that have come up in some cases. Read through them and find out if you really want to save the marriage or…?

1. Are you tired of confronting your partner and fighting about his or her actions and behavior all the time? Are you tired of always being the one bringing up the conflict in your relationship? Have you decided that it’s much easier staying in the marriage and letting him be rather than fight?

2. Are you hanging onto your religious and moral beliefs of making your marriage work no matter what? Do you feel like you will be judged or ridiculed by your friends or family if you don’t stay in your marriage?

3. Are you only staying together for the kids? Do you think that your kids need you and your partner to be together, even when he or she isn’t behaving the best way? Or that they wouldn’t be able to cope if you weren’t together?

4. Are you afraid of being on your own and starting over without your partner by your side? Does the thought of making decisions on your own and living a new life without your partner scare you?

Filed Under: After the Affair, Infidelity and Tolerations, Infidelity Coaching, Infidelity Decisions, Infidelity Fears, Infidelity Help, Marriage Makeover, Recovery From Infidelity, Relationship Tips, Relationships: Marriage, Surviving Infidelity Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,

Marriage Communication: Saying No

August 16, 2012 by 1 Comment

How do you create a better, more honest marriage communication? Two words: Say no.

There is nothing wrong with saying no to people who are asking us for favors or asking us to do things for them, even and most especially our partners. And sometimes, saying no is the best thing you can do for yourself and for your marriage, especially in situations where infidelity is involved.

Saying no to others sets up boundaries for you regarding the things you are willing to do and the things you aren’t. It allows you to draw a line, and to avoid getting caught up in things that could be destructive to your relationship, or even to you as an individual.

When you say no, it does not always mean that you are being rude or mean or that you don’t want to help this other person. It will not always be met with negativity or bad reactions. In fact, it can help develop our marriage communication. Sometimes, what keeps us from saying no, even when we really want to, is the fear of these negative reactions, or the fear of not being accepted by our partners or by other people.

This fear becomes the reason behind further mistrust in a relationship, and it damages our marriage communication. When we choose to endure doing something we don’t like doing or we choose to suffer because we are afraid of rejection, it creates doubts, questions and issues between you and partner.

How will you be able to fully trust your partner when you are afraid of him or her? When you say no, you let your partner know that you are not afraid of him or her, and develop your marriage communication. This usually develops respect in your partner because he or she is aware of the things you will tolerate from him or her and the things that you won’t.

Filed Under: Infidelity and Tolerations, Marriage Makeover, Relationship Tips, Relationships: Marriage Tagged With: , , , , ,

Relationship Communication: Being Able to Say What You Really Mean

August 9, 2012 by 1 Comment

What can you do create and develop a better relationship communication with your spouse?

Communication is a very important part in any relationship, and good communication requires that the things you are saying will be reflected in the things you are doing. When you are saying something but your actions are showing different, your partner will begin to doubt you and question whether or not to believe what you are saying.

A very common example of relationship communication that turns negative is when you go out for dinner. Most of the time, even when you don’t really want to go out, you act like you do because you feel like you should or because you don’t want to disappoint your spouse.

Your words say that you’re excited and ready for a night out, but your actions say that going out is the last thing you want to do, and that all you really want to do is go to bed and sleep. Which of the messages you’re sending out will your partner focus on? Although it may be something very trivial, it still has an impact on your relationship communication and in partner’s trust in you.

So rather than acting as if you are interested in doing something when you’re actually not, it’s better if you just say that you don’t want to do it. Initiate good relationship communication with your partner and let him or her know that you know how important it is for you to spend time together and ask if, instead of going out, you can stay in instead or do something else.

Let your partner be aware of what you are feeling and why you are feeling that way so that he or she would not be confused or suspicious of why you don’t have interest in something that you always do together. This creates a better relationship communication and generates trust in each other.

Filed Under: Infidelity and Tolerations, Infidelity Help, Marriage Makeover, Relationship Tips, Relationships: Marriage Tagged With: , , , ,
« Previous Page
Next Page »