The Affair – An Opportunity of a Lifetime

Whether you are in an affair, or have learned that your spouse or partner is or was in one, whether you know it or not, you have just been presented with a great gift. How can an affair, with all its confusing and painful attending thoughts and emotions, be a great gift?

An affair is often a trigger, a catalyst, for some of the most meaningful personal growth, change and expansion you will experience in your life because it creates an opportunity for you to look within and ask yourself some important questions. Questions like:

*How did I get here (in whatever role you play in the triangle of the affair)?

*What is it I am really looking for? Is this affair going to get me there? How?

*What is the cost to me of not changing? To those around me?

*Who am I really? What is that motivates me? What is behind my choices?

*Why am I here, right now, in this moment, and beyond this
moment?

*What is that I hold nearest and dearest to my heart, and soul?

*How can I be more of that?

It is through the asking of these deep questions that we discover some of the most profound truths about who we are and why we are showing up in our relationships the way we are. These truths then lead us to a life that has the opportunity for more and more unbounded joy, satisfaction and love. That is something I call a great gift!

If you want to explore some of these questions, and others, contact Jeryl and schedule some personal coaching sessions. She will help you dive into these questions and discover some really cool stuff about you and what you really want! Jeryl specializes in coaching and guiding those of you who want to make deep, personal and lasting changes in your life by asking and finding answers to the questions that touch our innermost being.

Give yourself the great gift contained in the affair and launch yourself into a new life, one rich with adventure, experience and personal enlightenment.

Affair Pain – Healing and Surviving Your Pain and Hurt

Watch this recent video that helps you identify YOUR specific strengths that will enable you to move more quickly and efficiently through the suffering and anguish you encounter with the infidelity.

Infidelity Discovered: Death without Dying – Part 6

This is part 6 “Death without Dying.”

It summarizes the feelings and anguish of my good friend who came home from a business trip and was greeted at the door by his wife who said, “I’ve found someone else. I’m leaving.”

Here are more of his thoughts:

Can I ever feel gratitude for the thirty-three years? Or will I resent staying when the going was crazy, the behaviors wrong? Will I ever be grateful to myself for sticking with it for the sake of the girls, when now the bonds get reordered? We were not the perfect couple. I was not always happy. I suffered. I gave up opportunity. I experienced loss of much of my youth to assure that our imperfections would not permanently infect my kids. I didn’t always handle it the right way and acted out my unhappiness and punishments quietly, internally and externally. But never overtly. Perhaps that was wrong. As wrong as thinking you can change another person or their behavior. I can and do celebrate the team that was though. The end result of the daughters she raised. The business partnership that brought me much career success and adulation. The uncomplaining acceptance and accomplished performance of so many of the tasks that I didn’t like doing. She did good.

It’s in there somewhere. And it scares the hell out of me. It’s got to show its ugly face. And I want to be ready for it. Cause I know that I’m angry. I’m mad as hell. I’m genuinely pissed off. She has hurt me inappropriately, acted irrationally, disregarded my feelings and my values, has not acknowledged my love and devotion, has hurt my children and will hurt my mother, sisters and my few friends. How can that anger be directed to healing, to repair, to protection of the totally unknown future? Will I be ready when it strikes and be able to channel the anger productively, begin the process of forgiveness? I’m still in shock. But I know this train is coming. I just don’t know when it’s pulling into the station. And if it carries a bomb?My anger is not pretty. It’s a beach ball held under water that slips away, explodes through the surface, often surprising not only those around me, but taking me by surprise as well. What needs to happen for me to find peace?