Do you believe that if you confront the other woman, she will tell you the truth?
Hardly, since an affair is built upon deception.
The emotional energy demanded by this type of affair can be intense.
Read this case study and my comments:
1. What was your purpose for confronting the OP and what did you say/do?
To find out how far the emotional affair had gone.
2. What happened? What was the outcome?
She denied communications with my husband, which I already saw from the cell phone charges and knew she was lying. She also blamed him for contacting her and that she was just talking to him to help him work on his marriage. The outcome was my husband was angry with her for blaming him for a friendship she initiated, and she no longer wanted anything to do with him because he was married with a family.
3. If you were to do it again, would you do it differently? What did you learn?
Yes, I would have confronted her the first time she hung up on me when I answered the phone(6 months earlier). I wouldn’t have contacted her – I knew what was going on. I should have separated from my husband and made him face what he was doing without a cushion of being home with his family. I will have less compassion for my husband or the lonely other woman.
Coach’s Comments:
I’m guessing we’re dealing with a form of the “I Fell out of Love… and just love being love” type of affair. This affair revolves around the emotional component.
And, someone involved in an emotional kind of affair is usually (please note, there are exceptions to patterns) a fairly dependent person who focuses his/her life on eliciting from others feedback that will make him/her feel good. Good feelings often come as a result of outside triggers rather than from inside one as they live out their life with purpose, standards and well grounded values.
This person will “play” those people in his/her life to create and guard his/her feelings. Deception is often part of this “playing” since s/he must manipulate his/her world to maintain those “feelings” and keep others away from discovering or her/his disclosing her/his inner emptiness.
Don’t expect the truth here.