Denial or refusal to face the truth is a strong characteristic of the “I Can’t Say No” type of affair.

Over time one sees that the denial becomes stronger and the acting out behavior becomes more frequent with more dire consequences (that, again, are ignored.) The impact of infidelity and betrayal at this point can be profound.

Confronting the other person, or persons in this case, may help one gather the truth.

1. What was your purpose for confronting the OP and what did you say/do?

To find out who they were. How they knew my partner.

2. What happened? What was the outcome?

Several were hookers, (I later found out). Others were dates from the internet and they told me the truth.

3. If you were to do it again, would you do it differently? What did you learn?

No. I felt better after I talked to the women. My partner tried to lie and I told him I already knew, then later he admitted it was true. I learned the truth by calling them. If I had not then I would have always wondered what the truth was.

Coach’s Comments:

Confronting the other person, or persons, often leads to the truth in the “I Can’t Say No” type of affair.

Why? Because these relationships hold little emotional investment. The OP feels no particular loyalty to the cheating spouse. The degree of emotional separation also may be an indicator of how far along the cheating spouse is in terms of his/her addiction.

The next step for the above spouse is to use her information to confront her husband, with the intent of breaking through the denial – which happened.

Following that break through, it would be hoped that he seek some sort of treatment or at least begin to acknowledge the magnitude of his problem and find paths to cope and survive the infidelity.