Sometimes the game gets old. A line must be drawn.

Case Study:

1. What in the way of disrespect, blame, criticism and/or abuse are you facing?

He continued casual contact with the OW after the affair; flirted with other women; blamed me for not being affectionate enough with him, or paying attention to him when he was equally to blame; claimed his feelings of hurt were worse than mine; refused to discuss details of the affair, all at the same time claiming he wanted our marriage to work out and he only wanted to be with me.

2. What has worked best for you in stopping or tolerating less and less of these destructive behaviors?

I tolerated the behavior and charged neutral for a while; when I discovered more about the affair on my own, I began to refuse to accept his behavior, and insisted that whatever he thought his injury was from me, I was hurting every bit as much; I demanded that he come clean with more details and to cut off contact with the OW, that it was disrespectful to me and our marriage. Becuase he wanted to stay with me, he stopped the flirting, told the OW not to call him anymoore and promised to let me know if she did; he became more accepting of his role in our marital problems and more sensitive to the hurt he caused me. Things are good now.