What happens when you confront the other person?
How can you use it to your advantage.
In response to my survey:
1. What was your purpose for confronting the OP and what did you say/do?
I just wanted to know if my husband was telling the truth so I called her. Asked her if they are still seeing each other. Until now,I don’t think hubby knows that I called her.
2. What happened? What was the outcome?
Luckily,I had already read Dr. Huizenga’s Break-Free-From-The-Affair so I was charging neutral and it was a success.She confirmed what hubby said that he already ended it.
3. If you were to do it again, would you do it differently? What did you learn?
I learned and applied what I read from the e-book so I don’t think I’ll do it in any other way.
Coach’s comments:
Yes, charging neutral can be a powerful tool in maintaining one’s personal power in a confrontation.
Charging neutral is basically a refusal to react, internally and externally to the other person or your circumstances. You don’t flinch. You don’t react. You don’t give away your power. No one ruffles your feathers.
Easier said than done. But, when used, it often gets you exactly what you desire.
I confronted both my husband and OW at the same time. I asked them to stop the affair. They both told me NO. OW said “it was her life now, what did I expect?” I was betrayed by my husband and by the OW, who was a friend of our family. When I asked her if she wanted MY husband, she did not answer. I told her that her silence spoke volumes! Now rumors are flying around the small community we live in. Hubby and she are starting to look bad. OW works for the town we live in. I am trying to maintain my dignity and self-respect. Planning for the worst, praying for the best. I love my husband. I have told him that, have told him I do not need him, but I do want him and I believe in the vows I said 26 yrs ago. He says he is done and wants a divorce. All decided within himself with no chance given to our marriage. Confronting them got me nowhere.