What defines the moments when healing, shifts and changes take place in the healing process for infidelity?
My readers often give clues.
Read what these readers say as they move through the healing process of infidelity:
****Everything you said NOT to do (in my Killer Mistakes E-course), I did, or worst, my adult children did. It had the negative effects you said it would. When emotions come out they don’t make much sense at first. Now, we are breaking the ice a little. Real feelings have come out and honesty at last. I told him that I don’t want him to lose his children, grandchildren and I don’t want to lose him as a person. He wants that too. My son sent him a very long email that was so beautiful that it finally moved him to see others’ feelings. When you are having an affair, apparently you can only think of yourself and what you think you have lost in life. Maybe he can start to see that no one would have been this hurt if they didn’t have a lot of love. I think that forest was always there but the trees failed to embrace him.
****It’s (Ecourse) helped me realize that there wasn’t anything I have done wrong, I had a healthy self esteem, but my husband is a repeat offender who doesn’t seem to have the will to stop, so I know it isn’t all in my head.
*****(Ecourse) Made me realize I wasn’t crazy! Also helped me move to a point where I think that whilst I would prefer to stay in my marriage if that would work I can also quite happily make a life on my own which I never felt before. It has helped me enormously in stopping feeling a victim and at somehow guilty of causing the affair.
Healing from Infidelity begins when there is a clear focus on recovery. The devastation of an affair can take a long time to subside but the recovery from an affair begins when the focus shifts to providing each individual with the primary focus of self.
Once this process begins, the ability to move beyond the images, fears and heartache have to be achieved through each individual. Regaining trust is the most difficult process. Recognizing the need to be assured and to accept the barriers that the affair has created are all a means of rebuilding a better bond. It becomes better due to the constant recognition that nothing is guaranteed. We learn to appreciate what we have now in this moment. This is the primary focus of DBT and it is a true grounding source for the negative impact of an affair. The waves of insecurity become less intense and the fears become resolve. Happiness eventually allows us to regain composure and provides us with a willingness to accept the positive. Sending you light !
Nancy