What specific details of the affair do you need to move on from your partner’s infidelity? Do you really need to know everything? Or would it be better to leave his infidelity behind and move forward?

There are plenty of ways that people deal with infidelity, but one of the most common is by asking to know the details of the affair. Asking you partner to tell you what happened and where, when it happened and how often, or even if your partner enjoyed it and how the other person compared to you.

Wanting to know these things is common for individuals who are going through a situation like this. Here are some of the reasons why you feel the need to know the details of the affair. Go over them and reflect on which one applies to your situation.

1. One of the main reasons why you might want your partner to give you the details of the affair is because you want to know if the affair was your fault or if you caused it. You ask because you want to know if it happened because you didn’t do enough or if you too much, and drove your partner into having an affair. But you should always remember that it is not your fault. Nothing you did or didn’t do justifies your partner’s affair.

2. Another reason is because you want to know what you are up against. You ask your partner to divulge details of the affair and other person because you want to know how you measure up. It can also give you an indication on how much this other relationship means to your partner – is he too deeply involved already or will he be able to let it go easily? Or it can go the other way around, and give you an indication of whether or not you can be able to forgive your partner’s actions once you learn of them.

3. For some couples, knowing about the details of the other relationship, especially details of the sexual encounters, boosts their own sex life. It creates kind of an opening for the couple to explore their hidden sexual desires and fantasies with the objective of proving to your partner that you are just as good or are better than the other person.