Save Your Marriage: Seven Tactics that will Stop the Affair

September 25, 2012 by 2 Comments

If you find out that your spouse is having an affair, and you want to stop it to save your marriage, here are seven powerful tactics that will surely give you the results you want.

Stopping an affair to save your marriage is not an easy feat. And even with these tactics at your disposal, you will still face difficulties with confronting your spouse with his or her affair. But the beauty of these seven tactics is that it will guarantee results for any of the seven different types of affairs. Of course, if your spouse is acting on addictive impulses or is an incessant cheater, these may not be as effective, but if you decide that you still want to try to save the marriage, then these tactics are still worth a try.

These tactics require a lot in order for them to work. You need to be focused and dedicated to follow through with them once you start. Doing these tactics require strength and control if you want to save your marriage. You cannot break down on the first sign of problems or trouble. You will need to control your feelings and emotions, and this is hard to do especially upon discovering the affair in the first place.

This will be the hardest and most painful time you will have in this whole experience. And if you think that you are not strong enough, you will need to build your strength and confidence before attempting to try these tactics. Don’t beat yourself up if you aren’t at that place yet. Don’t think that you are weak for needing time to get yourself ready. There’s nothing wrong with being confused, hurt, devastated and lost. These feelings are normal and be assured that you are not alone in feeling like this upon the discovery of an affair. What you need to remind yourself of is that you will be able to get through this and save your marriage.

Another thing you need to remember is that these tactics are not manipulative strategies to be used to change your spouse’s actions and behavior. If this is your motive in practicing these tactics, your husband or wife will surely be able to see right through it and will try to get back at you in whatever way he or she thinks is right.

The reason you are doing this is because you want to save your marriage and because you think that this is the right thing to do, not only for yourself but for your partner, your children and your marriage as well.

Do you think you’re ready to get your marriage back and work through your spouse’s infidelity? Tune in for the second part of this post to find out what those seven tactics are, and save your marriage!

Filed Under: After the Affair, Infidelity and Tolerations, Infidelity Coaching, Infidelity Decisions, Infidelity Fears, Infidelity Help, Infidelity Impact, Marriage Makeover, Recovery From Infidelity, Relationship Tips, Relationships: Marriage, Stopping the Affair, Surviving Infidelity Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Is Keeping your Infidelity a Secret Really the Best Decision?

September 20, 2012 by 1 Comment

A problem that people who have had affairs always have to face is making the decision whether to keep their infidelity a secret or tell their spouses about it.

No matter how many of their friends or family or anyone else they ask advice from regarding this, the only person who can make the decision is themselves. But what are the things that you need to consider before deciding whether or not they should continue to keep infidelity a secret?

Of course, everyone is aware of the obvious and potential consequences that could happen once an extramarital affair is revealed. But there are some things that could happen that you need to consider if you’re thinking of keeping your infidelity a secret from your spouse.

You may think that it would be easier to keep your infidelity a secret from your spouse, but in relationships where secrets are kept from one another, especially for a long period of time, certain changes occur that would degrade the relationship.

Communication, for example, would become limited to the topics that you are comfortable with because you will do anything to try to avoid getting discovered. And even when you think you are doing a good job of keeping your infidelity a secret, your spouse will know that something is going on.

When this happens, the relationship becomes swallowed in this hole of deception and lies that will not be easy to get out of. And it is more likely that all the lying and mistrust that will develop in your relationship will cause its demise, rather than the extramarital affair itself. So whether or not you reveal or keep your infidelity a secret from your partner, there is still a very big possibility that you will both end up hurting each other.

You have to remember that it’s not always the obvious things that can hurt a relationship. Sometimes – most of the time, actually – a strain in communication is enough to cause major problems, especially if it happens for a long time.

So before deciding not to reveal your infidelity, you have to make sure that you will actually be able to hide it from your spouse for the rest of your life. Otherwise, it would be a much wiser choice to come clean and accept the consequences of your actions rather than to continue keeping your infidelity a secret.

Filed Under: After the Affair, Infidelity and Tolerations, Infidelity Coaching, Infidelity Decisions, Infidelity Fears, Infidelity Help, Infidelity Impact, Marriage Makeover, Recovery From Infidelity, Relationship Tips, Relationships: Marriage, Stopping the Affair, Surviving Infidelity Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Cheating Against Infidelity: Is There Really A Difference?

September 18, 2012 by Leave a Comment

How do you define cheating against infidelity? Is there really a difference between the two? Or do they mean just one thing?

In the course of over twenty years of working with thousands of people who experienced having an affair, or experienced their partners having an affair, there was a difference in society’s understanding of cheating against infidelity meant.

So for most people, there is a distinct difference with cheating against infidelity, and cheating is worse than infidelity. They view cheating as something that’s more strongly associated with the “I don’t want to say no” type of affair from the seven types of affairs in the e-book by Dr. Huizenga, while the other six are more of infidelity.

Cheating, mostly, is described by the stereotypical view of how extramarital affairs are seen. A cheater, for example, is someone who constantly has affairs, usually with multiple partners, and does not see anything wrong with it.

Infidelity, in the other hand, is associated with confusion, pain and doubt, where a person is having a hard time going through his or her affair because of guilt and a sense of shame for doing what he or she is doing.

Cheating, therefore, is for someone who chooses to have an extramarital affair without any regard as to how it will make his or her partner feel. And infidelity is for someone who, for one reason or another, feels compelled to experience a relationship with another person who isn’t his or her partner. These are the major differences that people see when it comes to cheating against infidelity.

So if you suspect your partner of having an extramarital affair, or even when you know for sure that he or she is having one, how would you know which one it is? How do you differentiate cheating against infidelity, and know for sure which on your partner is going through?

Seeing as how these things have different meanings, it will, of course, follow that cheating against infidelity will have different signs or clues in how they present themselves as well. You will be able to notice little differences, and you will be able to pinpoint whether your partner is cheating or involved in infidelity.

So what are these signs?

Check back for our follow up blog post to find out everything you need to know about cheating against infidelity!

Filed Under: After the Affair, Infidelity and Tolerations, Infidelity Coaching, Infidelity Decisions, Infidelity Fears, Infidelity Help, Infidelity in the Media, Marriage Makeover, Relationship Tips, Relationships: Marriage Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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