Coping with Infidelity: Learning to Trust Yourself After Infidelity

Different kinds of affairs mean different approaches in handling the situation, which in turn will produce different results. In some relationships, a partner having an affair may be one of the greatest things that had happened for the marriage. For most though, it means the end. Affairs demand different things, from patience and understanding to tough love and action. It just all depends on what kind of affair it is.


People usually react differently when they hear of their partner’s affair, but the emotional impact is equally strong for everyone. Expect to have plenty of sleepless nights, and feel kind of a numbness that will leave you idle and unproductive for weeks. It usually takes a long time for an individual to work through everything and process things completely – usually about two to four years. Having a good therapist or counselor may help you deal with it faster, but it usually depends on your situation.


The reason why the emotional impact of a situation like this runs deep is usually because of two major things: the trust you had in your partner is completely destroyed, and the consequences of keeping secrets in a relationship takes its toll on you.


One of the most important things you will have to develop is to trust yourself, and not to put your trust completely in your partner. You should also learn to deal with the ramifications of what this does to your relationship.

Sex during Infidelity: Not Always as Great as You Thought

Most of the time, those who have been cheated on imagine that the reason why their partners engage in affairs is because they aren’t satisfied sexually in your relationship, that they get that satisfaction from the other person. This isn’t always true.

There have been a few cases where the persons who were involved in extramarital affairs described their sexual encounters with the other person as nothing to be desired, and said that they hugely regret their infidelity.

One of these cases, in particular, was a male who went through an extramarital affair number six – I need to prove my desirability. He said that he’s always struggled with self-esteem issues. So when a woman who was 15 years younger than him started to give him attention, he was flattered and started feeling good about himself. They flirted for a few months and then “tried” to have sex on a few occasions. He said that it was not good at all, and it only made him feel even more guilty.

So before you think that what you imagined is the truth, talk to your partner, get the facts straight. Sometimes, things aren’t as great as they seem.

Dealing with Adultery: Learning to Trust Your Instincts

Studies show that a great percentage of people in relationships or marriages have, at some point, tried being in extramarital affairs. And most likely than not, one or two people close to you are a part of that statistic without you knowing.

There have been plenty of cases where the one involved in an affair did not tell his or her partner about it, and have never been discovered. This should tell you to make yourself aware of any signs that could point to your partner having an affair. The most basic of all is a change in habits and behavioral patterns. You could be sensing that something is “off” or “out of character” with your partner but not be able to say specifically what it is.

Although trust is a very important aspect in any relationship, you should be a little cautious when you notice that something is different with your partner, and be brave enough to confront him or her about it. A change in behavior may not always mean that he or she is having an affair, but there still is that possibility.

Educate yourself and understand that there are different kinds of affairs – why and how they start, what it means to your partner, and how your relationship affected his or her decision to go through with it.