Why Confrontation Can Be Good For Relationships

How can confrontation and conflict be good for relationships?

A lot of people in relationships believe that confronting your partner, especially when it is about things that you are uncomfortable with in your relationship, will only bring negativity. No one can see how it can be good for relationships. And the thing that most people would say is that “I don’t want to hurt him or her.” There are a lot of reasons why people avoid confrontation, but there are two that are common to most.

Confrontation doesn’t always have to be done in a hurtful or aggressive manner. There are ways that you could confront your partner and it would bring about understanding and reconciliation about whatever it is that you are having issues or problems with.

Confrontation doesn’t always have to be done in an argumentative or fighting manner. You can tell your partner the truth about the things that are bothering you in normal everyday conversation. You should not be afraid to tell your partner the truth. You should never see it as something that will destroy your relationship, but as something that will help your relationship grow. Telling the truth is good for relationships.

One more common reason why you may be avoiding confrontation in your relationship is that you don’t think your partner will be able to deal with the things you are going to say. Trust in your partner’s strength. Never doubt in his or her ability to cope with whatever it is that you may throw his or her way.

Holding back and hiding your issues will sooner or later come to the surface and your partner will most likely see or feel that your trust in him or her is limited, which will create mistrust in your partner as well. Do not doubt in your partner’s strength. Confront him or her and trust that he or she will be able to handle it.

Details of the Affair: Why You Need to Know

What specific details of the affair do you need to move on from your partner’s infidelity? Do you really need to know everything? Or would it be better to leave his infidelity behind and move forward?

There are plenty of ways that people deal with infidelity, but one of the most common is by asking to know the details of the affair. Asking you partner to tell you what happened and where, when it happened and how often, or even if your partner enjoyed it and how the other person compared to you.

Wanting to know these things is common for individuals who are going through a situation like this. Here are some of the reasons why you feel the need to know the details of the affair. Go over them and reflect on which one applies to your situation.

1. One of the main reasons why you might want your partner to give you the details of the affair is because you want to know if the affair was your fault or if you caused it. You ask because you want to know if it happened because you didn’t do enough or if you too much, and drove your partner into having an affair. But you should always remember that it is not your fault. Nothing you did or didn’t do justifies your partner’s affair.

2. Another reason is because you want to know what you are up against. You ask your partner to divulge details of the affair and other person because you want to know how you measure up. It can also give you an indication on how much this other relationship means to your partner – is he too deeply involved already or will he be able to let it go easily? Or it can go the other way around, and give you an indication of whether or not you can be able to forgive your partner’s actions once you learn of them.

3. For some couples, knowing about the details of the other relationship, especially details of the sexual encounters, boosts their own sex life. It creates kind of an opening for the couple to explore their hidden sexual desires and fantasies with the objective of proving to your partner that you are just as good or are better than the other person.

Charging Neutral to Develop Trust After Infidelity

Trust after infidelity is very difficult to achieve, but what can you do to make things a little better?

Marriages that have been affected by extramarital affairs will always have a difficult time rebuilding the trust in that’s lost in the relationship. An important aspect that you will have to concentrate on fixing is the way you communicate with each other, especially when there are a lot of issues that need to be resolved which is most likely.

A great way to start rebuilding trust after infidelity this is to charge neutral. The act of charging neutral means that you become aware of how you communicate with your partner, and control it in a way where you will be able to convey what you want to say in a direct, honest and calm manner.

A lot of people have a hard time controlling what they say, especially in the heat of the moment. You can find a lot of different kinds of exercises that you can try to keep this from happening from books or even on other relationship blogs on the internet.

Charging neutral means that you keep yourself from reacting to whatever it is that your partner is saying or doing to you. To develop trust after infidelity, instead of yelling back, being defensive or sarcastic, making snide or rude comments, you remain calm in both your tone and attitude, and you say what it is that you have to say without creating more problems than you already have.

When you remain calm in addressing your problems, you will be able to bring up even your biggest problems out in the open for you to work on without causing a lot of drama. And the best part is, your partner will be able to see the control and the personal power that you have. He or she will be able to rely on this control and trust that you will be able to get through any issues you might have because of it. He or she will know that you will be able to stay calm no matter what, and that you will remain honest and truthful.