Infidelity coaching offers the opportunity to speak, to speak in ways that you probably never spoke before to someone with whom you feel extraordinarily safe. Think about that for a minute.
Powerful.
About a year ago I offered 15 minute free consultations to my Newsletter readers. (I may do that again someday – if I find the time!)
Here are some of their responses:
Talking to Dr Bob I not only managed to identify the type of affair I am dealing with but also the question that’s really bothering me – what do I want out of this? I was so wrapped up in what I was afraid might happen and “what if I go through this for nothing and it happens again” that I wasn’t looking at what I WANTED to happen, what I valued about my marriage before this episode. I feel renewed hope and a new strength to tackle what’s happening in my life.
I enjoyed talking to the expert! I gained the strength to try a new strategy, though I still feel like it’s too late to make a difference.
While I have tried to be positive all of my life one important factor that came out was your comment about me having my head in the sand. At first I was defensive but the more I think about it perhaps it has been my “wishful thinking” (the glass is half full, things will get better…) I have learned a very valuable lesson and I can guarantee you that “this” will not happen to me again (fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me). Another important issue that I got out of our conversation was the confirmation that while my wife denies this and says that she has no feelings, I know that she still has very deep feelings for me – unfortunately these feelings are not positive and include resentment, disappointment for not meeting her expectations etc. She has had a “wall” up for quite some time now. I honestly believe that she still has positive feelings (every once in a while something sneaks out) but the resentment wall is so tall and wide that these positive feelings may never come through. I certainly have no intention of forcing anything but this conversation has reinforced my resolution that we need to separate for a while and give us both time to regroup. I am convinced that I cannot live like this and we need to talk about the realities of going our separate ways. My intentions are not to be manipulative or to force her to do anything. I have honestly tried to accept my responsibility for our current situation and improve me for my sake not hers – unfortunately she has not. I honestly believe that we both need to want to change and if there is no desire then we would both be much better off apart.
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