Developing Trust: Share Who You Are to Your Partner

August 2, 2012 by 1 Comment

Does your partner truly know who you are? Do you allow him or her to know you?

Let your partner know who you are completely. Most people get scared or embarrassed to show who they really are to the significant people in their lives, especially their partners.

Trust in any relationship is strengthened by what we know or learn about the other person, but more importantly by what we allow the other person to know about ourselves.

It is not easy to be completely open with someone else. One reason being that we are afraid they won’t accept us, and another being that we may not really know ourselves as much as we think we do. Most of us don’t really take the time to reflect on ourselves and realize what is important to us. We go through our daily lives not really thinking about what we are doing and only focusing on what we have to do. So a lot of us tend to doubt the things we believe in and become afraid of being open about them, even to our partners.

This isn’t exactly what tears down trust in relationships, but it is one of the factors that hinder it from growing deeper. It is best that you make time for yourself every now and then for you to be able to discover or learn things about yourself that you wouldn’t know otherwise.

There is a lot to learn about oneself every day. What dreams and goals do you have in your life? What things drive you toward these goals and dreams? What values are close to your heart or are the most important to you? These are just some of the things you might get to learn about yourself in your reflections. And when you’ve found out something new about yourself, share it with your partner or other people who are closest to you. Trust them with this information about you.

It may not be easy to do, but try to find the courage to open yourself up and allow the people in your life to get to know you better. This will not only deepen the relationship and trust you have in each other, it will also generate respect from your partner.

Filed Under: Infidelity Coaching, Infidelity Decisions, Infidelity Fears, Infidelity Help, Marriage Makeover, Relationship Tips, Relationships: Marriage Tagged With: , , , , ,

Why Confrontation Can Be Good For Relationships

July 31, 2012 by Leave a Comment

How can confrontation and conflict be good for relationships?

A lot of people in relationships believe that confronting your partner, especially when it is about things that you are uncomfortable with in your relationship, will only bring negativity. No one can see how it can be good for relationships. And the thing that most people would say is that “I don’t want to hurt him or her.” There are a lot of reasons why people avoid confrontation, but there are two that are common to most.

Confrontation doesn’t always have to be done in a hurtful or aggressive manner. There are ways that you could confront your partner and it would bring about understanding and reconciliation about whatever it is that you are having issues or problems with.

Confrontation doesn’t always have to be done in an argumentative or fighting manner. You can tell your partner the truth about the things that are bothering you in normal everyday conversation. You should not be afraid to tell your partner the truth. You should never see it as something that will destroy your relationship, but as something that will help your relationship grow. Telling the truth is good for relationships.

One more common reason why you may be avoiding confrontation in your relationship is that you don’t think your partner will be able to deal with the things you are going to say. Trust in your partner’s strength. Never doubt in his or her ability to cope with whatever it is that you may throw his or her way.

Holding back and hiding your issues will sooner or later come to the surface and your partner will most likely see or feel that your trust in him or her is limited, which will create mistrust in your partner as well. Do not doubt in your partner’s strength. Confront him or her and trust that he or she will be able to handle it.

Filed Under: Infidelity and Tolerations, Infidelity Decisions, Infidelity Fears, Marriage Makeover, Recovery From Infidelity, Relationship Tips, Relationships: Marriage Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Dealing with Conflict in the Marriage: Confronting vs. Attacking Your Partner

July 5, 2012 by 1 Comment

People in marriages usually keep themselves from really getting into the issues they are dealing with, mostly because they are afraid of causing conflict in the marriage.

It a common misunderstanding that when it comes to relationships, being with the “right” person means that everything else in the relationship will go smoothly and be “right,” which is not necessarily true. All relationships will have its ups and downs and will need both parties to work hard to keep it going. They are never easy. And most of the time, the reason why a lot of people keep moving on from one person to the next is to look for that easy relationship because they are too lazy to work through the conflict in the marriage for a lasting one.

We all grow up dealing with our problems and troubles and conflicts in our own way, but being in a relationship with someone means that we can no longer do things our way. Being in a marriage means that we have to consider our partners in every situation, in every decision, and we have to learn to work with them through everything, especially the conflict in the marriage, together. This is going to be difficult at first, and most of us would tend to just be quiet and not bring any of the issues we are dealing with up. But do not be afraid to open up to your partner.

What you should realize is that the problems and conflict in the marriage won’t just bring in negative results. They can actually be the push you need to be a better husband or wife to your spouse. They can also help your relationship become stronger. But there is good conflict in the marriage and bad conflict, and only good conflict will bring enlightenment in your marriage.

Just remember that confronting your partner with you issues is different from attacking him or her with them. Don’t be afraid that your partner won’t listen to you and not understand what you are saying. Communicate with your partner and calmly let him or her know what your issues are. Trusting that your partner will hear you out and not create a negative twist on the conflict in the marriage, will develop his or her trust in you in return, and will only make your marriage better and stronger.

Filed Under: After the Affair, Infidelity Coaching, Infidelity Decisions, Infidelity Fears, Infidelity Help, Marriage Makeover, Recovery From Infidelity, Relationship Tips, Relationships: Marriage Tagged With: , , , , ,
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