Healing From Infidelity: How to Deal With Someone Going Through an Affair Crisis

March 13, 2012 by Leave a Comment

What can you do to help someone who is the middle of an affair crisis? The following are a few things that are from people who have gone through this experience, and may help you help someone going through an affair crisis:

1. I’d really like to be able to talk about what I’m feeling openly and without censor. I’d like to be able to say how overwhelming my pain or my guilt is, to talk about what I’m going through, because I don’t want to keep things bottled up inside me.

2. I want to be left alone to go through what’s happened and process things by myself. I don’t want people pestering me about what I should do or how I should handle things. I want to be able to make decisions by myself without feeling that I have to do oblige what other people think I should do.

3. If you’re going to ask me how I am, I want to be able to answer it truthfully. I don’t want to be asked that in passing, when I can’t say how I really am doing. I want to be able to have time to mull it over so I can say how I really am.

4. I want to be understood. I want people to accept that I’m unsure of what to do and what I want to do, of how I feel and what I want to happen. I want you to be able to just be there for me even if I don’t make any sense.

5. And most importantly, I want to know that I am okay. I want to be accepted and validated by the people around me.

Filed Under: After the Affair, Infidelity Coaching, Infidelity Decisions, Infidelity Fears, Infidelity Help, Infidelity Impact, Infidelity Testimonials, Personal stuff, Recovery From Infidelity, Relationship Tips, Relationships: Marriage, Surviving Infidelity Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Coping with Infidelity: Learning to Trust Yourself After Infidelity

February 28, 2012 by 1 Comment

Different kinds of affairs mean different approaches in handling the situation, which in turn will produce different results. In some relationships, a partner having an affair may be one of the greatest things that had happened for the marriage. For most though, it means the end. Affairs demand different things, from patience and understanding to tough love and action. It just all depends on what kind of affair it is.


People usually react differently when they hear of their partner’s affair, but the emotional impact is equally strong for everyone. Expect to have plenty of sleepless nights, and feel kind of a numbness that will leave you idle and unproductive for weeks. It usually takes a long time for an individual to work through everything and process things completely – usually about two to four years. Having a good therapist or counselor may help you deal with it faster, but it usually depends on your situation.


The reason why the emotional impact of a situation like this runs deep is usually because of two major things: the trust you had in your partner is completely destroyed, and the consequences of keeping secrets in a relationship takes its toll on you.


One of the most important things you will have to develop is to trust yourself, and not to put your trust completely in your partner. You should also learn to deal with the ramifications of what this does to your relationship.

Filed Under: After the Affair, Infidelity and Tolerations, Infidelity Decisions, Infidelity Fears, Infidelity Help, Infidelity Impact, Recovery From Infidelity, Relationships: Marriage, Surviving Infidelity Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Confronting Infidelity: Knowing the Actions of Your Partner

February 21, 2012 by Leave a Comment
Discovering that your partner is having an affair is never easy. And one of the ways an individual deals with it is usually by asking about the details of the other relationship. Asking about the things your partner did with the other person – whether they had sex or not, where they went, what they talked about, when were they together and how often – these things become the basis for what you are going to do next and how you will handle the situation.

Remember that there is nothing wrong with you for wanting to know the details of your partner’s affair. A lot of couples have gone through and are going through a situation like this, and plenty of them are most likely reacting the same way.

The following are some reasons why the need to know is strong:

1. It becomes kind of a competition. You want to know what your partner did with the other person because it becomes a push for you to do better. You want to prove yourself and prove that you are better. For some couples, knowing the details of the sexual interactions in the other relationship heightens their sexual encounters and brings to the surface some hidden fantasies or desires.

2. It creates a connection between you and your partner. In some relationships, emotional distance creates a barrier that keeps your from really being together, and the affair, or talking about the affair, becomes a reason for you to communicate and reconnect.

In other cases, the affair may be a way for your partner to stir up some drama or get revenge. Your partner brings it up or talks about it a lot to get a reaction from you.

3. You want to be able to protect yourself health-wise, especially if your partner is having an active sexual affair. You need to know the details of his sexual encounters and the extent of protection used, so that you will know if you need to get yourself checked from STDs and so that you can protect yourself against them.

Filed Under: Infidelity and Tolerations, Infidelity Coaching, Infidelity Decisions, Infidelity Help, Infidelity Impact, Recovery From Infidelity, Relationships: Marriage, Surviving Infidelity Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,
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