The aftermath of the discovery of infidelity in a marriage leads, obviously, to heightened feelings and tension. Somewhat surprising to some is the fact that sexual desire and enthusiasm is intensified. A writer asked me:

Should continue to have sex with my husband? (who is having an affair)

Here’s my short, off-the-cuff response:

Often the sexual tension (and desire) is ramped up a notch (sometimes more than that) with the discovery of the affair. Sex often becomes passionate and intense. It is OK? I don’t see any harm in it if it is enjoyable for both. However, take some time to reflect upon what it means to be engaged in the activity. What does it mean for you? What are you getting? And, if possible, talk to your spouse, “I wonder what it means that our passion is ramped up and yet there is this third party?” Sex is the “window to our soul” and reflects some of our deepest needs and concerns.