Sexual Addiction: How Does it Cause Extramarital Affairs?

September 11, 2012 by Leave a Comment

A kind of extramarital affair that is becoming more and more common is one related to sexual addiction. The one having the affair has a hard time saying no and instead, feels obligated to say yes when it comes to sex.

Although we all have our limits when it comes to affairs, and will, at some point, eventually say no and mean it, there are those who have a difficult time at doing so. Not because they want to continue the affair, but because they have a hard time saying no to it.

This is why sexual addiction and infidelity that is caused by it is very hard to fix, because it’s difficult to separate one from the other completely unless the addiction is addressed.

In this two-part article about the relationship between sexual addiction and infidelity, you will learn a few identifiers that will help you point out whether or not you should suspect sexual addiction as the cause of your partner’s infidelity, or if it is a different type of affair caused by other factors.

Here are some things that you should take note of:

1. The other person or persons are only seen as objects for personal gratification. Your partner does not develop a real relationship with him or her, and no true intimacy is developed. He or she is used merely for sex.

2. Your partner’s sexual addiction may have stemmed from an experience from childhood that he or she had a difficult time to cope with and hadn’t completely resolved yet – usually sexual abuse in some form.

3. Sex, to your partner, has a heightened role or value in your relationship. The need for sexual gratification is great and should be acted upon frequently. Also, other activities related to sex such as watching porn, going to strip clubs, or having multiple sexual partners is very common.

For more signs of sexual addiction, check back in a few days for the second part of this post.

Filed Under: After the Affair, Infidelity and Tolerations, Infidelity Coaching, Infidelity Decisions, Infidelity Help, Marriage Makeover, Recovery From Infidelity, Relationship Tips, Relationships: Marriage, Surviving Infidelity Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Emotional Affairs: What Are the Clues?

September 6, 2012 by Leave a Comment

What do you need to watch out for when you suspect that your partner is having an emotional affair with someone?

The following is a compilation of information gathered from the comments on the newsletter received by our subscribers – men and women –  who have experienced and observed the changes in their partners as they went through emotional affairs, as well as from their emails and responses to the various articles and blogs posted on our website.

And here is what they had this to say about clues to emotional affairs:

1. My husband started coming home late a lot. (This is one of the most common clues of emotional affairs.)

2. Our sex life changed. It wasn’t what it used to be.

3. We started having fights and arguments over little things.

4. I noticed that she pulls away when I try to kiss her or touch her.

5. She started to make more of an effort with her appearance and clothing for work.

6. Another common clue of emotional affairs that almost everyone experienced: He would get phone calls late at night and he would always answer them in a different room. The calls usually lasted for hours.

7. He set up a password on his computer, and there were files that I couldn’t view.

8. My wife always had excuses to get out of the house, usually at nights and during the weekends.

9. He suddenly started to work more and more, or always had a work-related outing he had to go to.

10. I was shocked when he said all of a sudden that he “cares for me a lot but isn’t in love with me anymore.”

So have you experienced any of these things recently from your partner? Or is he or she doing something else that you just find odd? What other clues of emotional affairs can you add to the list that you think is important and that people have to watch out for? And what should you do when you notice these changes from your partner? Don’t hesitate to leave your comments or thoughts.

Filed Under: Extramarital Affair Types, Infidelity and Tolerations, Infidelity Decisions, Infidelity Fears, Infidelity Help, Marriage Makeover, Recovery From Infidelity, Relationship Tips, Relationships: Marriage, Surviving Infidelity Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

After the Affair: Barriers in Saving the Marriage

August 30, 2012 by Leave a Comment

What do you need to know to save the marriage after the affair?

Rebuilding a marriage after the affair is very difficult, even with all of the information you can have, because no matter how much you read on the matter, it will still be your personal barriers that will keep you from making any real changes.

The following are three most common barriers that people encounter while going through this situation after the affair:

1. Your partner refuses to open up and talk about the affair. You try to get him to talk, you ask questions, you try to peel back the layers your partner is hiding from, but you don’t get anywhere. And it seems that the more you ask about it, the more your partner pulls away. You have a hard time trusting him or her, or getting past the betrayal, because you imagine all these things that he or she did with the other person. And the worst part is that you don’t know for sure what happened because your partner refuses to answer your questions about it.

2. You are afraid. You’re scared to demand anything from your partner after the affair for whatever reason, and you try to stay out of his or her way. Maybe you don’t want him or her to feel pressured or stressed by you because you don’t want him or her to find comfort outside your marriage again. You only try to analyze what his or her actions mean and you are never sure if what you think is right or wrong. You keep your struggle inside rather than opening up to your partner what you really feel.

3. You are focused on the other person, and how he or she compares to you. You want to be able to be the person you were before the affair, but you’re just always unsure of yourself now. And it’s worse when your partner isn’t giving any indication of what he wants – whether it’s you or the other person – because it just makes it all the more confusing.

Filed Under: After the Affair, Infidelity and Tolerations, Infidelity Decisions, Infidelity Fears, Infidelity Help, Marriage Makeover, Recovery From Infidelity, Relationship Tips, Relationships: Marriage, Surviving Infidelity Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,
« Previous Page
Next Page »