Recovery From Infidelity

Recovery from Infidelity: Mental Shifts

Making shifts in one thinking, at least being open to the possibility of there being another way of perceiving a relationship or one’s self, begins the healing and recovery process from infidelity or an extramarital affair.

Here are some shifts made in two case studies:

1. How has this E-course helped you change the way you feel, think and act as you face infidelity. Give examples, if you can.

Everyone thought we were the perfect couple (including ME)and I never even imagined this could happen to US. I now know it can happen to anybody. I have learned that I am okay, and a lot stronger than I ever gave myself credit for, and also, that no one is perfect, no marriage is perfect, but sometimes bad things happen to good people. The course has helped me to realize that there are things I needed to examine and learn about myself as well as my husband, things I didn’t realize I was doing, especially with regard to taking my husband and his love for granted. Only, after having been married for 30 years, it is something we tend to do when we get comfortable, but I thought that was also part of TRUST. What I never expected was to get to this point in our lives, where the kids were grown and (it was supposed to Our Time) only to feel as if that magic carpet has been ripped out from under me. I am certain there were things I probably could have and should have been doing differently, but that ultimately, the affair was His Choice and that in the beginning (Discovery) I was much too hard on myself, and originally went out of my way to understand him, but have since come to a place of acceptance within myself– to try & change the things I can, the courage to accept what I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.

1. How has this E-course helped you change the way you feel, think and act as you face infidelity. Give examples, if you can.

I started the course at a time I was depressed and believing I had done all I could to save my marriage, and all effort had yielded no positive results. The course opened my eyes and I began to see some of the mistakes that I had unknowingly made like involving relatives, friends and seeking counseling from church members. These mistakes had actually isolated us as a family and had made us the subject of gossip among our “so called trusted colleagues.” After going through the 6 series (did not receive day 2 course, I truly agree with you that the discovery was the best thing that happened to us. Our communication has improved and we are more open with each other and are appreciating the character differences between us. We have started on a long journey of recovery from our past and we are moving together as a couple with less hurt.

Healing from Infidelity and Affairs: The Journey

The healing journey for affair and infidelity recovery can be difficult and long. Successfully walking that journey can, however, provide tremendous satisfaction and discovery.

Here are real people in different stages of infidelity healing letting you know what they are doing to heal and recover:

>>>>Went for walks together Went out for social events together

>>>>face the facts talk about the feelings understand why it happened

>>>>I did NOT give an ultimatum about stopping seeing the OP or asking him to leave. We stopped shouting and talked like adults. We still do things together e.g. family stuff, household chores. He still sees the OP and I’ve a long way to go. His guilt prevents moving forward.

>>>>1. I just backed off. I listened about the other person and heard the areas where there was a void that was filled. 2. Since I didn’t do a lot of good things through this, I don’t sling mud over the transgression. This has helped a lot with opening the doors to meaningful conversation without arguments or sore feelings that would undue months of work. 3. I am in no hurry to fall back into old patterns. So when he is ready to come home, great. If not, then he can continue to stay in his apartment and we will just continue to date. Since he hasn’t expressedan interest in seeing his son too much, am not forcing them to be together. We’ll work on us first then our son.