Developing Trust: Share Who You Are to Your Partner

August 2, 2012 by 1 Comment

Does your partner truly know who you are? Do you allow him or her to know you?

Let your partner know who you are completely. Most people get scared or embarrassed to show who they really are to the significant people in their lives, especially their partners.

Trust in any relationship is strengthened by what we know or learn about the other person, but more importantly by what we allow the other person to know about ourselves.

It is not easy to be completely open with someone else. One reason being that we are afraid they won’t accept us, and another being that we may not really know ourselves as much as we think we do. Most of us don’t really take the time to reflect on ourselves and realize what is important to us. We go through our daily lives not really thinking about what we are doing and only focusing on what we have to do. So a lot of us tend to doubt the things we believe in and become afraid of being open about them, even to our partners.

This isn’t exactly what tears down trust in relationships, but it is one of the factors that hinder it from growing deeper. It is best that you make time for yourself every now and then for you to be able to discover or learn things about yourself that you wouldn’t know otherwise.

There is a lot to learn about oneself every day. What dreams and goals do you have in your life? What things drive you toward these goals and dreams? What values are close to your heart or are the most important to you? These are just some of the things you might get to learn about yourself in your reflections. And when you’ve found out something new about yourself, share it with your partner or other people who are closest to you. Trust them with this information about you.

It may not be easy to do, but try to find the courage to open yourself up and allow the people in your life to get to know you better. This will not only deepen the relationship and trust you have in each other, it will also generate respect from your partner.

Filed Under: Infidelity Coaching, Infidelity Decisions, Infidelity Fears, Infidelity Help, Marriage Makeover, Relationship Tips, Relationships: Marriage Tagged With: , , , , ,

Why Confrontation Can Be Good For Relationships

July 31, 2012 by Leave a Comment

How can confrontation and conflict be good for relationships?

A lot of people in relationships believe that confronting your partner, especially when it is about things that you are uncomfortable with in your relationship, will only bring negativity. No one can see how it can be good for relationships. And the thing that most people would say is that “I don’t want to hurt him or her.” There are a lot of reasons why people avoid confrontation, but there are two that are common to most.

Confrontation doesn’t always have to be done in a hurtful or aggressive manner. There are ways that you could confront your partner and it would bring about understanding and reconciliation about whatever it is that you are having issues or problems with.

Confrontation doesn’t always have to be done in an argumentative or fighting manner. You can tell your partner the truth about the things that are bothering you in normal everyday conversation. You should not be afraid to tell your partner the truth. You should never see it as something that will destroy your relationship, but as something that will help your relationship grow. Telling the truth is good for relationships.

One more common reason why you may be avoiding confrontation in your relationship is that you don’t think your partner will be able to deal with the things you are going to say. Trust in your partner’s strength. Never doubt in his or her ability to cope with whatever it is that you may throw his or her way.

Holding back and hiding your issues will sooner or later come to the surface and your partner will most likely see or feel that your trust in him or her is limited, which will create mistrust in your partner as well. Do not doubt in your partner’s strength. Confront him or her and trust that he or she will be able to handle it.

Filed Under: Infidelity and Tolerations, Infidelity Decisions, Infidelity Fears, Marriage Makeover, Recovery From Infidelity, Relationship Tips, Relationships: Marriage Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Trust Building: Focusing on Your Needs and Not Your Partner’s

July 26, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Trust building  in relationships is very tricky to do especially when something wrong has been done in the relationship by either of the partners. When this happens,  what do you do to earn trust back and make it stronger than before?

Do not be afraid to let your needs be known. This is especially true in situations where one person in the relationship feels the other backing or pulling away from him. Most of the  time, in cases like this, the person who doesn’t feel like his partner is paying attention to him or the marriage goes on an all out crusade to win his partner back.

He does everything he can, everything he thinks his partner wants from him, providing her every need, all in the hopes that she will come back to him. But what usually happens is that she starts to feel smothered by all the attention, or even resentful that he is only doing this now that she doesn’t want to have anything to do with him, and his efforts to try to win her back backfires. It doesn’t work. Because his motive, whether consciously done or not, of meeting her every need in the hopes that she will return the favor and meet his, doesn’t work. At the end of the day, this kind of tactic is still manipulation. And manipulation is not how you go about in trust building.

The thing is, she avoids or prevents herself from confronting him about this because he is being so nice and caring. And all this avoiding and pretending destroys the trust in the relationship.

So rather than focusing all the attention on your partner, focus on you instead and assess what your needs are that you want your partner to meet. This is one of the ways you can start re-developing the trust you lost in your marriage. Let your needs be known clearly and directly, but always be open to hear out your partner’s needs as well. Be self-centered, but not selfish.

Filed Under: Infidelity Help, Marriage Makeover, Personal stuff, Relationship Tips, Relationships: Marriage Tagged With: , , , , ,
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