The Truth About Infidelity Websites and Unhappy Relationships

July 17, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Just how popular are infidelity websites among those who are in unhappy relationships?

A recent story published by USA today said that websites that offer free membership to married individuals who want to look for other married individuals for purposes of “hooking up” record their highest profits of the year the day after Valentine’s Day. Why?

A person who runs such a website said that, “People are disappointed by their spouse’s lack of effort, and they feel especially undervalued when there is a societal expectation of romance. Certain days of the year act as litmus tests for many people in relationships.”

We tend to force romance into our relationships most of the time just to prove to ourselves that we can be romantic just like everyone else, but it usually doesn’t work and only ends up emphasizing our unhappy relationships. What’s more is, your partner could very well be one of the people who register on infidelity websites without your knowledge.

There are two possible concepts that trigger and increase the disappointment we feel during this particular day:

First being that romance gets too hyped up and it somehow makes us kind of self-centered.

Romantic movies and novels as well as love songs that come out describe romance generally as something between two people where each others’ thoughts and feelings, wants and needs are mirrored back to each other, where you begin to feel like you’re something special and you lose sight of the fact that you are just like everyone else going through the motions of life.
One more reason is because we concentrate on our personal needs. We focus on us – our need for constant attention, our need to be adored, our need to be listened to. And when our partners don’t meet our needs, or don’t do what we expect, we start to become resentful or frustrated towards them, whether we do it consciously or not.

On Valentine’s Day, there is an exaggerated expectation for romance in general. And even when we say that we don’t care whether or husbands or wives do anything special on that particular day, we get swept up in it along with everyone else. So when nothing happens, we become more convinced that our is an unhappy relationship compared to others.

Filed Under: Infidelity and Tolerations, Infidelity Coaching, Infidelity Decisions, Infidelity Fears, Infidelity Help, Infidelity Humor, Infidelity Impact, Marriage Makeover, Online Infidelity, Relationship Tips, Relationships: Marriage, Stopping the Affair Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

Extramarital Affairs: Not Always Due to Sexual Unsatisfaction

July 10, 2012 by 1 Comment

Whenever a person finds out that their partner is cheating on them, or was once involved in an extramarital affair, more often than not, the things you imagine are worse than what actually happened, especially when it comes to their sexual encounters.

Take this case of extramarital affairs, for example, where a woman began an affair with someone who was 15 years younger than her. She described how she felt during the affair, saying that she didn’t feel like herself and that she was actually truly traumatized from it. She talked about how difficult it was for her lover to get an erection, and when they were finally able to have sex, that it was not good at all. In fact, it made her feel worse about herself.

What you have to keep in mind, though, is that what you imagined they had done during the extramarital affair is not necessarily the truth. And that in most cases, it is actually the opposite.

This is a problem that most victims of infidelity encounter – believing that the affair occurred because of a lack of sexual satisfaction in the marriage, and that it is the other person who started the seduction. This is not the case for everyone who has gone through or is going through an extramarital affair. Reasons for engaging in extramarital affairs actually go deeper than just a lack of sexual satisfaction in the relationship most of the time.

Usually, people cheat for personal reasons that have nothing to do with problems regarding their partners or relationships. They are usually problems that go back even before the relationship, and your partner probably had not been able to cope with it properly. Extramarital affairs are never as simple as a bad sex life, and the only way you can get to the bottom of it is if you explore each others’ needs together.

Filed Under: After the Affair, Infidelity and Tolerations, Infidelity Coaching, Infidelity Decisions, Infidelity Fears, Infidelity Help, Infidelity Impact, Infidelity Testimonials, Marriage Makeover, Recovery From Infidelity, Relationship Tips, Relationships: Marriage, Surviving Infidelity Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

Dealing with Conflict in the Marriage: Confronting vs. Attacking Your Partner

July 5, 2012 by 1 Comment

People in marriages usually keep themselves from really getting into the issues they are dealing with, mostly because they are afraid of causing conflict in the marriage.

It a common misunderstanding that when it comes to relationships, being with the “right” person means that everything else in the relationship will go smoothly and be “right,” which is not necessarily true. All relationships will have its ups and downs and will need both parties to work hard to keep it going. They are never easy. And most of the time, the reason why a lot of people keep moving on from one person to the next is to look for that easy relationship because they are too lazy to work through the conflict in the marriage for a lasting one.

We all grow up dealing with our problems and troubles and conflicts in our own way, but being in a relationship with someone means that we can no longer do things our way. Being in a marriage means that we have to consider our partners in every situation, in every decision, and we have to learn to work with them through everything, especially the conflict in the marriage, together. This is going to be difficult at first, and most of us would tend to just be quiet and not bring any of the issues we are dealing with up. But do not be afraid to open up to your partner.

What you should realize is that the problems and conflict in the marriage won’t just bring in negative results. They can actually be the push you need to be a better husband or wife to your spouse. They can also help your relationship become stronger. But there is good conflict in the marriage and bad conflict, and only good conflict will bring enlightenment in your marriage.

Just remember that confronting your partner with you issues is different from attacking him or her with them. Don’t be afraid that your partner won’t listen to you and not understand what you are saying. Communicate with your partner and calmly let him or her know what your issues are. Trusting that your partner will hear you out and not create a negative twist on the conflict in the marriage, will develop his or her trust in you in return, and will only make your marriage better and stronger.

Filed Under: After the Affair, Infidelity Coaching, Infidelity Decisions, Infidelity Fears, Infidelity Help, Marriage Makeover, Recovery From Infidelity, Relationship Tips, Relationships: Marriage Tagged With: , , , , ,
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