A component of Affair #6: “I Need to Prove My Desirability” is often a history of sexual abuse at the worst and/or sexual confusion at the best.

Infidelity of this nature often serves the unspoken and mostly unconscious desire to “check out” one’s sexual capacities. It’s as if the lid was kept on for years and now the pain and poison of his/her history begins seeping out and is played out in the form of infidelity or extramarital affairs.

This can be a powerful experience for him and terribly confusing for his spouse.

I say “his” because I want to call attention to male sexual abuse.

It’s believed that 1 out of 6 boys are molested before the age of 16.

I’m presenting a powerful video on male sexual abuse.

I invite those who have suffered abuse (male and female) to watch the video. If your husband is having an affair and has a degree of openness about it and it is a possibility he as suffered some form of sexual abuse, give him a special invitation. He might want to view it alone.