Consistent themes emerge as you struggle to cope with and survive infidelity.

One theme is: Why didn’t I see it coming? I Must be blind. This reader hints at that struggle:

1. I am struggling with the feelings of being a “doormat”…kicking myself for being so naive.
2. At the same time, I see myself as a morally good person.
3. I know that he is also “hurting”…..I believe that I am a better listener and care that what I say isn’t just chatter.
4. I believe that I am a stronger person. I am impressed with the effort that I have made towards healing our marriage. (I am also impressed with my husband’s untiring efforts). I am working on my self-esteem, but believe that I will survive this and become stronger.

And the most basic issue: I can’t trust. I can’t forget the lies. Another reader expresses:

After dealing with the sex issue, the impact left are the lies he told and continues to hold onto regarding the meaning of the relationship, which went on for a number of years. I feel manipulated. I don’t trust him not to lie to me or omit things. can’t stop thinking about the lies he told and whether or not I am justified because I need the truth.

I have no trust left in me for anyone. I am becoming bitter and absorbed with anger, feeling less attractive and worthy.