Save Your Marriage: Seven Tactics that will Stop the Affair (Pt. 2)

September 27, 2012 by Leave a Comment

So what are the seven tactics that will help you stop the affair? This second part of the two-part blog post will tell you the seven simple ways you can do to make sure that your husband or wife stops his or her affair, and save your marriage.

Doing these seven tactics to stop the affair will not be easy. The best way to proceed with this is to read through all of them, pick one that you think you will be most comfortable with and that you will be the easiest for you to try first. Once you’ve gotten that one down, try another tactic and practice it until you get comfortable with it. And continue going through the list one by one until you have all seven down to stop the affair.

Be happy, even if you have to fake it. Be a cheerful, positive person. Practice this attitude. Prepare yourself to behave this way, especially when you are around your husband or wife. If you aren’t feeling particularly cheerful or happy, then fake it. Act this way until you aren’t pretending any more. Act this way until you truly begin to feel happy and positive about your life again.

Do something. Find something you are interested in and do that. Discover new hobbies, new places, new activities. Go back to doing something you haven’t done in a long time. Rediscover some of the hobbies you’ve given up doing from your childhood. There are a lot of things you could try doing out there. Look for something you might like, and just do it. Getting your attention away from your husband  or wife’s infidelity is a simple way you can stop the affair.

Remember that no matter how hard things seem to be, or how much it seems that things will never be good again, remember that you will get through all this and that you will make it. Remind yourself of this every day. Every time you feel like everything is falling apart, tell yourself that you will be able to stop the affair and you will make it. When you feel the pain of your spouse’s affair, tell yourself that you will make it. Do not let yourself be defeated by something that is not your fault. Just remember those words: you will make it.

To stop the affair, when conversing with your husband or wife, make sure that your discussions are to-the-point, brief and direct. Discuss only the things that need to be addressed right at that moment, and do not go beyond that especially if he or she begins to talk about the drama of his or her affair, or how it is destroying him or her. When you can feel that your conversation is heading in that direction, firmly but calmly stop the affair conversation, say that you are not interested in discussing that certain topic and end the conversation.

Find the truth in what your spouse is saying and acknowledge it out loud. Don’t negate everything he or she says, especially if there is a little truth in it. The thing is to focus only on that little truth and acknowledge only that. This will help him or her see the truth in the things he or she is saying, as well. Your spouse will have a clearer view on the things he or she says, and will easily be able to identify which of it is the truth and which is not. This, in turn, will push towards the decision to stop the affair.

Make new friends, even that of the opposite sex. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself, who will listen to you and be honest with you, and who you trust. Meeting new people is not a tactic for you to get your spouse jealous. Your husband or wife’s feelings have nothing to do with you making new friends. You are doing this for yourself, to have a wider social circle that you can have for support. Not to make him or her jealous as a tactic to stop the affair, nor as revenge for your spouse’s affair.

Get healthy. Take better care of your body and of your health. Exercise more, and eat right. Practice healthy habits. Being more healthy and feeling good in your own body will help you feel good about yourself more.

Which of these tactics are you most comfortable with?

Choose one and start with it before going through the rest of the seven tactics to stop the affair and save your marriage.

Filed Under: After the Affair, Infidelity and Tolerations, Infidelity Coaching, Infidelity Decisions, Infidelity Fears, Infidelity Help, Infidelity Impact, Marriage Makeover, Recovery From Infidelity, Relationship Tips, Relationships: Marriage, Stopping the Affair, Surviving Infidelity Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Save Your Marriage: Seven Tactics that will Stop the Affair

September 25, 2012 by 2 Comments

If you find out that your spouse is having an affair, and you want to stop it to save your marriage, here are seven powerful tactics that will surely give you the results you want.

Stopping an affair to save your marriage is not an easy feat. And even with these tactics at your disposal, you will still face difficulties with confronting your spouse with his or her affair. But the beauty of these seven tactics is that it will guarantee results for any of the seven different types of affairs. Of course, if your spouse is acting on addictive impulses or is an incessant cheater, these may not be as effective, but if you decide that you still want to try to save the marriage, then these tactics are still worth a try.

These tactics require a lot in order for them to work. You need to be focused and dedicated to follow through with them once you start. Doing these tactics require strength and control if you want to save your marriage. You cannot break down on the first sign of problems or trouble. You will need to control your feelings and emotions, and this is hard to do especially upon discovering the affair in the first place.

This will be the hardest and most painful time you will have in this whole experience. And if you think that you are not strong enough, you will need to build your strength and confidence before attempting to try these tactics. Don’t beat yourself up if you aren’t at that place yet. Don’t think that you are weak for needing time to get yourself ready. There’s nothing wrong with being confused, hurt, devastated and lost. These feelings are normal and be assured that you are not alone in feeling like this upon the discovery of an affair. What you need to remind yourself of is that you will be able to get through this and save your marriage.

Another thing you need to remember is that these tactics are not manipulative strategies to be used to change your spouse’s actions and behavior. If this is your motive in practicing these tactics, your husband or wife will surely be able to see right through it and will try to get back at you in whatever way he or she thinks is right.

The reason you are doing this is because you want to save your marriage and because you think that this is the right thing to do, not only for yourself but for your partner, your children and your marriage as well.

Do you think you’re ready to get your marriage back and work through your spouse’s infidelity? Tune in for the second part of this post to find out what those seven tactics are, and save your marriage!

Filed Under: After the Affair, Infidelity and Tolerations, Infidelity Coaching, Infidelity Decisions, Infidelity Fears, Infidelity Help, Infidelity Impact, Marriage Makeover, Recovery From Infidelity, Relationship Tips, Relationships: Marriage, Stopping the Affair, Surviving Infidelity Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Cheating Against Infidelity: Is There Really A Difference?

September 18, 2012 by Leave a Comment

How do you define cheating against infidelity? Is there really a difference between the two? Or do they mean just one thing?

In the course of over twenty years of working with thousands of people who experienced having an affair, or experienced their partners having an affair, there was a difference in society’s understanding of cheating against infidelity meant.

So for most people, there is a distinct difference with cheating against infidelity, and cheating is worse than infidelity. They view cheating as something that’s more strongly associated with the “I don’t want to say no” type of affair from the seven types of affairs in the e-book by Dr. Huizenga, while the other six are more of infidelity.

Cheating, mostly, is described by the stereotypical view of how extramarital affairs are seen. A cheater, for example, is someone who constantly has affairs, usually with multiple partners, and does not see anything wrong with it.

Infidelity, in the other hand, is associated with confusion, pain and doubt, where a person is having a hard time going through his or her affair because of guilt and a sense of shame for doing what he or she is doing.

Cheating, therefore, is for someone who chooses to have an extramarital affair without any regard as to how it will make his or her partner feel. And infidelity is for someone who, for one reason or another, feels compelled to experience a relationship with another person who isn’t his or her partner. These are the major differences that people see when it comes to cheating against infidelity.

So if you suspect your partner of having an extramarital affair, or even when you know for sure that he or she is having one, how would you know which one it is? How do you differentiate cheating against infidelity, and know for sure which on your partner is going through?

Seeing as how these things have different meanings, it will, of course, follow that cheating against infidelity will have different signs or clues in how they present themselves as well. You will be able to notice little differences, and you will be able to pinpoint whether your partner is cheating or involved in infidelity.

So what are these signs?

Check back for our follow up blog post to find out everything you need to know about cheating against infidelity!

Filed Under: After the Affair, Infidelity and Tolerations, Infidelity Coaching, Infidelity Decisions, Infidelity Fears, Infidelity Help, Infidelity in the Media, Marriage Makeover, Relationship Tips, Relationships: Marriage Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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