Recovering from Infidelity

Recovering from infidelity is often a long process which stirs within powerful feelings, thoughts and images that go to the core of who on is.

These three people share part of their journey and questions:

Case Study #1:

1. How has this E-course helped you change the way you feel, think and act as you face infidelity. Give examples, if you can.

Knowing the type of battle i am facing, really put my mind into perspective. The first 2 weeks i was suffering terribly on what could have gone wrong with me, but this e-course really helped me enlighten that i may have done something wrong within the relationship, it was never and it will never be my fault that my husband had made bad judgments.

2. What unanswered questions do you have at this point as you cope with infidelity?

my husband has had the affair for 2 years before i found out and at this point i was still wondering and would like to understand who he was during those 2 years, why did he stayed on for 2 years more with me, why he just he didn’t let me go from the moment he knew that his relationship with the OW was getting serious – why did he deprived me of the love & affection that i needed – it was so selfish of him. Yet, across all that had happen – i still love my husband.

Case Study #2:

1. How has this E-course helped you change the way you feel, think and act as you face infidelity. Give examples, if you can.

It has definitely helped me gather my thoughts, calm down and think rationally. It has been very helpful to read of situations, feelings, reactions and behaviors that have fit my own situation so well, and gives me hope that they can be worked through constructively.

2. What unanswered questions do you have at this point as you cope with infidelity?

My wife was never a dishonest person, financial pressures and the hum drum of homemaking combining with the emergence of the old high school sweetheart created the perfect storm. Her relationship with him although limited pretty much to an ’emotional affair’ has changed her significantly and this is difficult to deal with.

Case Study #3″

1. How has this E-course helped you change the way you feel, think and act as you face infidelity. Give examples, if you can.

It has made me realize that I am important and that I did not do this to our marriage. Whatever was the cause of it…I now know that I need to be concerned with myself and to never let someone have such a hold over me.I am my own person and not just “his wife.”I am going to utilize this wake-up call in my life to benefit me and to eventually be at the point where I will feel that this was a “good thing” that made our marriage even stronger.

2. What unanswered questions do you have at this point as you cope with infidelity?

I know my husband had an affair. There is no question about that. I have lots of proof that it happened.But…..he has not formally admitted it to me. Which bothers me. I know that it has stopped because I can tell. He is being a perfect husband and “friend.” MY QUESTION: Will I be able to heal from this w/o a confession? Can the trust be repaired when he won’t confess???????

Infidelity: Steps in the Healing Journey

What does it take to heal from infidelity?

I asked my readers, in terms of what is helpful about some of my information. Here are some responses:

***I am learning how to control my mood and my feelings about my self. I just I could get my husband to think and open his eyes when it comes to the OP. I know that he will only see what he wants to see and I have to stay strong in my direction and continue working on myself. I am emotionally ready for whatever comes next. I know I will make it.

***I find some comfort in knowing i am not the only one. It has also helped prevent me to continue from doing some of the things (I love you’s, counseling)it said not to do.

***I have somewhat of a better understanding of why my husband’s affair happened.

***Acknowledging how I am feeling, knowing that my feelings are natural.

***I learned that I had to back off and let my husband come back to me on his own time–but he knew he was welcome to come back. I had to work on me–not my hubby–abut my problems that I knew had to change. I had to work on self-esteem so I wouldn’t be so needy.While talking things out my hubby is now willing to change jobs–his idea–his decision!!I learned how to listen to him and just be supportive–it worked he opened up more from the heart than he has in a long time!

***i have come to realize that the affair he is into is not my fault and that i can become a better person if only i stop feeling sorry for myself and be more realistic.

***It helped me getting a different perspective on what is happening in my marriage and in myself. I also helped me avoiding some things that I impulsively felt like doing that could actually jeopardize my goal. It gave me insight that I didn’t have and that made things somewhat more understandable.

Healing Infidelity: Stop the Affair?

I just posted a new article on the possibilities of stopping an affair. Can you stop an affair? No. Can you influence an affair? Yes! And, there is a huge difference in perspective and results.

Here’s the new article: Healing infidelity: How to Stop the Affair.