What happens when a person confronts the other woman who was a friend?

Check out this case study:

1. What was your purpose for confronting the OP and what did you say/do?

My husband and the other woman keep saying they were just friends and that they were not having an affair, i wanted to talk to her to get things straight from her, she was my very good friend as well. We meet 2 times and I asked her questions about situations, but the answers were ones she and my husband had come up with to cover there behinds.

2. What happened? What was the outcome?

She lied about everything. She said they were just friends and that they had to talk to each other and meet because of the committees and things they were on together.

3. If you were to do it again, would you do it differently? What did you learn?

I am not sure I would do it differently. I need answers and although I did not get those answers at the time I found out the liar she was and her true self was revealed in time. I learned that even if you get answers it does not help because there are some things I will never understand. Plus you only know what a person wants you to know. My friend deceived me, she went after my husband and would still take him to this day.

Coach’s Comments:

1. What is a friend? What are the markers or characteristics that tell you that a friend is a friend? What qualities do you want in a friend? How do you truly know they are there? What level of self disclosure do you need and expect in a friendship?

2. Many types of affairs (“I fell out of love…and just love being in love,” “My Marriage Made Me Do It,” and “I want to be close to somone…but can’t stand intimacy”) often involve a kindled relationship of someone fairly close – neighbor, couples with whom you socialize, common friend, and in some cases, extended family members. Feelings are stirred that may develop into infidelity and a triangle whereby the three, who were once friends, now dramatically change the relationship.

3. When confronting the “friend” know that the relationship as changed. Do not expect favors or the disclosure of truth. It may happen, but probably not. Once boundaries are crossed, it’s very difficult, well nigh impossible, to go back and expect “friendship.”