Here’s a short video in which I talk about a major shift in the healing and recovery process from infidelity. That major shift is refusing to accept fault or blame or any responsibility for the affair. It was his/her choice.
Infidelity and Affairs: Whose Fault?
October 12, 2008 by Leave a Comment
I was going over my comments from those who read my E-course: “7 Killer Mistakes That Prolong the Affair and Your Misery.”
Here’s the question I asked:
1. How has this E-course helped you change the way you feel, think and act as you face infidelity. Give examples, if you can.
Responses:
Even both spouses are guilty for the marriage trouble, it is very important to know the infidelity is NOT about me. Cheating affects your integrity, self-esteem, however forgiveness gives a sense of relief, it is liberating. The pain still persists, however it fades away, one cannot change the history.
DEFINITELY HAS GIVEN ME PERSPECTIVE. I THOUGHT I WAS GOING CRAZY, REAL FAST. SEEING THE PHASES AND READING HAS HELPED ME TO KEEP MY FEET ON THE GROUND AND MY HEART IN THE RIGHT PLACE. AND MY MIND HAS SETTLED DOWN QUITE A BIT
I have gone from thinking “what did I do wrong” to “this was not my fault” Yes I made mistakes but instead of talking to me about them my partner chose to turn to another woman.
Help me realize It is okay to feel sad. I am very angry and protecting myself. My husband has had relationship or affairs with this woman for the last 10 yrs. What is to say he won’t do it again. She lives 4 minutes from me. And now she is stalking me and THIS IS NOT MY FAULT. I am the victim not my husband, but he tries to turn it around.