What does it take to heal from infidelity?

I asked my readers, in terms of what is helpful about some of my information. Here are some responses:

***I am learning how to control my mood and my feelings about my self. I just I could get my husband to think and open his eyes when it comes to the OP. I know that he will only see what he wants to see and I have to stay strong in my direction and continue working on myself. I am emotionally ready for whatever comes next. I know I will make it.

***I find some comfort in knowing i am not the only one. It has also helped prevent me to continue from doing some of the things (I love you’s, counseling)it said not to do.

***I have somewhat of a better understanding of why my husband’s affair happened.

***Acknowledging how I am feeling, knowing that my feelings are natural.

***I learned that I had to back off and let my husband come back to me on his own time–but he knew he was welcome to come back. I had to work on me–not my hubby–abut my problems that I knew had to change. I had to work on self-esteem so I wouldn’t be so needy.While talking things out my hubby is now willing to change jobs–his idea–his decision!!I learned how to listen to him and just be supportive–it worked he opened up more from the heart than he has in a long time!

***i have come to realize that the affair he is into is not my fault and that i can become a better person if only i stop feeling sorry for myself and be more realistic.

***It helped me getting a different perspective on what is happening in my marriage and in myself. I also helped me avoiding some things that I impulsively felt like doing that could actually jeopardize my goal. It gave me insight that I didn’t have and that made things somewhat more understandable.