This is another case study in my series: “Should I Confront the Other Person”

1. What was your purpose for confronting the OP and what did you say/do?

I was not sure that she knew he was actively married and interacting as a husband and family AND carrying on with her in another town.

2. What happened? What was the outcome?

I made copies of our recent family photos/activities and mailed them along with copies of her love letters stating “he was her other half “and she loved him “without consequences” and wrote on the pictures…”the other half and the consequences.” I also mailed to her family members who were probably unaware of his family situation. I searched her for phone number and address and then researched her billing of phone and po box to get other family members addresses- sent complete copies of love letters to all recipients.

3. If you were to do it again, would you do it differently? What did you learn?

No- i would have done it sooner- it blew up the romance- she was livid and humiliated- her family got a reality check and as you describe the secrecy was ruined so the thrill was gone.

Coach’s Comments:

The thrill was gone probably means that this was an “I Fell Out of Love…and just love being in love” affair.

Most of these affairs, from my experience, tend to be a remake of adolescence. In other words, the typical falling in and out of “love” a number of times during adolescence did not take place.

And, so a person may develop an affair of being “in love” to redo what was missed.

This “offended’ spouse above got out the big hammer and.. wham! It was over.

The question remains, did the OP and the spouse learn from this experience. Were they able to move beyond their adolescent perspective to more mature and deeper form of love? (I wonder what was left after everything went splat?)