Yes, the internet is dangerous for some. It provides an avenue, one never before experienced in our world, in which the deepest fantasies, fetishes and insecurities of good people can be played out…without ever getting to know someone!
Chatting, emailing, phone calls, and/or phone sex with someone living miles or countries away tug and pull at some who at one level are grabbed and held by an inner world of unfulfilled erotic or emotional powers stirred once the fingers hit the keyboard.
It’s a form of the “I Can’t Say No Affair” that is not played out in strip clubs or with prostitutes but with “cyber friends.” The guilt and shame is still there, most of the time, especially when “caught.”
This activity is easily rationalized – “It doesn’t mean anything! It’s just a game! I just like chatting! No one is getting hurt! – and so forth – all from the comfort of one’s laptop.
But, it does severely limit one’s personal evolution and the evolution of greater intimacy in the marriage.
Read what this woman has to say:
I wanted to find out why my husband did what he did. I thought we had a good marriage but I know now that It was not my fault. This was the third cyberaffair he had. He admitted that he wanted to prove himself that he’s still desirable by chatting and long phone conversation. I forgave him again and again hoping he would stop. I’m afraid it won’t be the last time but I refuse to give up yet. Even though it went as far as emotional affairs but it’s still hurt bad. We still love each other and every time he cried and admitted that he didn’t understand himself why he did it. May be he needs professional help?. May be I’m in denial. He would tell me everything about the affairs. He would answered all my questions. We would have our “Real talk” and then forgive and forget. Neither of us want a divorce. After 20 yrs of marriage when he started his first cyberaffair and that was 6 -7 yrs ago. Second affair was within 12 mos and then this. If he really regret it and really wants to stop it all, we’ll be celebrating our 27 yrs anniversary this May. All in all he is a good husband and a good father and a good man and I know in my heart that he loves me. I do prepare myself for the future if he does it again, I love him enough to let him go and do whatever he pleases. I still respect him and also I do respect myself. Thank you very much for your info and your e-book. It really gave me peace of mind to know that I am not alone and my feelings were not crazy. You answered my questions and helped me get through my day with dignity. Understanding his behavior helped me deal with the situation and made me want to find more info and answers to help “HIM”. Everyday I longed for you e-mail and more info to help me cope with confusion and hurts. I felt a whole lot better than a few weeks ago when I found out from our cell phone bill that he had secret phone calls while I was away(out of the country with my mom).