I frequently go over a survey I give for those who read my Free E-course, “The Seven Killer Mistakes…that prolong the affair and your misery.” It helps me learn what it is specifically that is helpful in coping with the pain of infidelity.
I will share with you… so you might learn how to cope with the pain of infidelity as well:
1. How has this E-course helped you change the way you feel, think and act as you face infidelity. Give examples, if you can.
The course has helped me understand it’s not me. Yes, I contributed to the affair but the issues are hers to resolve. Not mine. It has helped me understand the types of affairs and that hers is a blended affair of more than one of the seven types of affairs. It has helped me accept that her “friendship” is an affair dispite all of her reasons why it is not. It has helped me see all of the mistakes I have made so far and hopefully given me guidance to avoi future mistakes.
When I first found out about the affair, I was completely mad. I was going through so many different emotions from one minute to the next, I didn’t know what to think or do, and started to behave very badly, and was headed down a road to self destruction. Reading the e-course helped me realize that what I was feeling was normal? (Normal for finding out about the betrayed). It made me realize that I am not alone, and that many other people are going through the same emotions. When I first started reading the material I was finding on the net, it said that this would be a time of self descovery, which at the time I thought was a load of bs. But after a few weeks and the initial shock started to wear off, I did actually start to look inside, and found out some things about myself that I did not like, and am now in the process of changing my attitude. In some aspects of my life I am now a better person, but still very much struggling with the knowledge of the affair. thanks for your help R.
It has confirmed many things that I felt instinctively; like to stop saying “I love you” all the time, and not to change your intrinsic behaviour too much, just beacause you want your husband to move towards/love/care for you again. It has given me the courage to face the facts surrounding the whole infidelity issue. I also got a few laughs out of some articles, like the one about not imagining that the extra-marital sex was so hot! Thank you for that!
I learned a great deal from the E-Course and gained a lot of good information about how to cope with the different stages of emotions and feelings brought on by the affair. It helped me organize my thoughts so that I could find a better way to communicate with my spouse.