I’ve read several instances where it was helpful to confront the other person if first there was some level of self disclosure by the cheating spouse about the affair. In other words, the cheating spouse was perhaps beginning to shift allegiance from the other person to the spouse.

If there is no self disclosure by the cheating spouse, and none can be elicited, it’s doubtful that confronting the other person will be helpful.

This scenario points to this fact:

1. What was your purpose for confronting the OP and what did you say/do?

I found out my partner was having the affair with her and couldnt get any answers from him. I just had to know what was happening.

2. What happened? What was the outcome?

It did no good whatsoever and they carried on seeing each other to the point where I told him to leave. He did and has lived with her for two and a half years. It broke my heart.

3. If you were to do it again, would you do it differently? What did you learn?

If only there was a chance to handle it all differently. I would have not told him to leave and tried to weather it. It may have burned out by itself. I just lost control and didnt think at all and just reacted very badly and now there is no chance ever to be with him.