One of the biggest factors that causes affairs in marriage and relationships, especially that of the “I fell out of love… and just love being in love†type, is romance. And here are some of the reasons why:
1. People use romance as a way for them to meet their personal needs. They want to be acknowledged, to be cared for, to feel special, to feel like they are important and so on, so they look for someone who will do that. Romance should not be used as a tool to feel somewhat validated. Letting it lead you and the decisions you make will only take you from one person to the next without any satisfaction.
2. Romance has become idealized in movies, books, TV shows and other things like that as the ultimate experience in intimate relationships. It is depicted as the basis of a strong and lasting relationship, the basis in choosing the person you should be with. They show beautiful people in a beautiful relationship, and who wouldn’t want to have that?
3. Romance is a way for people to feel good – about their life, about themselves – and they expect to feel good whenever they pursue romance. They want that high you get when you’re with someone new and they expect it to last, but it never does because their basis for being with that person is for an immediate fix instead of a lifetime goal.
4. And lastly, romance is an excuse that a lot of people use for sex. Having chemistry with someone doesn’t indicate that you two should have sex, it doesn’t even mean that you should be together, but most people would see this chemistry as a “spark†that should be pursued and so they pursue it.
Romance has lost its true meaning mostly because we use it as an excuse to satisfy our immediate wants and desires. If you want true romance, look into yourself and be more aware of the things that bring you real happiness and accept yourself for who and what you are.
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