When does the pain and agony of infidelity and extramarital affairs begin to turn around? When does recovery and healing the marriage after infidelity begin?
I posed this question to my readers. Here are some responses:
The turning point in my recovery was after 2 years when a personal tragedy struck our family and my husband was supportive and wonderful and I could truly trust that he had made a mistake (we all do) and that he was a good person and worth the chance to forgive and go on with our lives.
Turning point was that once I recovered from the shock I was able to sever the relationship as for me there was no respect left. Your materials provided some insight into infidelity issues and even though there are many reasons for infidelity men and women must realize that wanting to ‘have your cake and eating it too’ will inevitably cause some serious digestive problems!!!
The initial turning point for me was finding your book. I felt so lost and so alone. My mind raced constantly searching for answers. I just wanted to stop thinking…that’s it I wanted my mind to rest. It didn’t until I found your book. I feared that my feelings were not justified. The feeling of loss, the loss of the life that I once knew. The checking up on him so many, many things. I first found your book roughly 3 years ago. I kept my husbands affair to myself. I had no one that I wanted to share it with as I felt shame. Shame in the fact that I decided to stay with my husband. The book and your newsletter were a sense of relief for me and confirmation of my feelings that others before me had felt. I didn’t feel as alone anymore. I could consult, confidentially it lessened my pain so I could begin healing.
A huge turning point for me was this web site. On any given day, I go from feeling really positive to being sucked up in all the affair stuff. When that happens, I come here, and read everyone’s posts, and realize and remember that I am not alone,and it helps to turn my emotions around. It’s been 7 months and we are definitley on the path to recovery. But sometimes reminders flood back and I have to take a step back and put it where it needs to be. My husband and I are happier than we’ve been in a long time. He is happy to move forward. As for me, so am I. The only problem is that some days, I am saddled with the luggage I am left with to carry. Being here with all of you helps make that a biit easier. Thank you!
How long before the mental pictures go away? When we become intimate I see her with him and all goes flat!
A big turning point for me was when I realized that I hadn’t thought about the affair in DAYS!! This was huge because for the first six months it’s ALL I could think about even if I wanted to think about something else I just couldn’t so it was HUGE when I realized it had been DAYS without even thinking about it!! :)